Wedding #4,057...

So the wedding today was pretty good, all things considered.

It took place at Moose Jaw's new Performing Arts centre, which had a good sound system, if an awkward-for-a-wedding setup, since it was, after all, a stage and auditorium.

So the Bride, when she came down the aisle, disappeared through the proc doors to reappear on the stage.

It was a nice wedding, although it was VERY short. Only 20 minutes! Mark said afterwards it was due to them sort of rushing it due to nervousness, which I can understand (Kow's done that a few times...).

But I had some downtime between the wedding and the reception. I came home and plowed through John Grisham's Bleachers, a not bad book, although short as hell. It's not a long read...

I realized at the wedding that I was pretty much the only high school friend of Penny's at this wedding. There was NOBODY I knew, other than Penny. Not quite as bad at Rich's wedding, where I knew a few more, but this one was just one person I knew. And I haven't seen her in ten years, although we talk online these days...

So I get to the reception, and I find out it's not arranged seating. Gah! I know no one there, and I'm supposed to just plop my ass down in a seat? At least with arranged seating, there might be some rhyme or reason to put me with someone. But this was a crap shoot...

So I just look for a table with people my age at it that's not full. And end up sitting with three girls Penny knows from USask. All Engineering grads, and they knew each other. So it was a lot of me listening for a while, before starting to active participate in the discussions.

During the reception, it was either demonstrate kisses (a la Rob and Reag, where Dev and I kissed using chocolate. Don't ask...), or tell stories.

You know, I'm TRYING to think of stories involving Penny back in high school, but they usually follow the trend of yelling at teachers, something that was a recurring theme amonst her university friends.

Yup. I realized Penny has a lot of stories to tell about me, but I don't have many to tell about her, other than us half-competing for grades, or band.

We were also sitting at a table with a coworker of Mark's and his wife, who told us they were married 26 years ago this weekend.

All of a sudden, a couple went to the mic and said, "Mark, Penny, this is how you kiss after 10 years of marriage."

Those of us at the table were urging the co-worker to go up with his wife, this being their anniversary and all.

Another relative of Mark's comes up with his wife. "Guys, this is how you kiss after 20 years of marriage."

We keep on urging the couple at our table.

Another couple: "This is after 25 years of marriage."

More urging.

Mark's grandparents go up. "This is how you kiss after 50 years."

Too late for the couple at our table, although I wanted Christina (one of the engineering girls) to go up there and say, "This is how you kiss after only knowing someone five minutes, and after a shot of tequila."

It made for a funny joke, although I wouldn't have minded if she had dragged me up there herself.

Also: Man! That photographer was one hot girl! I'd like to exchange photog tips with her, if you know what I'm saying. ("Nope." - The Tick)

Over the course of the evening, I realized that while I didn't know anyone there, a few people knew me. Like the maid of honour, Lisa, who was a year behind Penny and I at Peacock. And Penny's cousin.

This is the problem with being infamous at high school, is that a lot more people that I don't know of are able to pick me out of a lineup ten years after the fact, and ask if I'd be doing "something crazy" tonight.

Me: "Lisa, I was forty pounds lighter back then. I can't do all my old tricks."

Lisa: "Yeah, I've noticed. You look good with the extra weight."

Me: "Thanks."

(Well, okay, the fact that I can't contort these days is a bit of a lie. I'm still pretty flexible, although the extra mass doesn't really help me out with it. Truth is, I wasn't prepared to make that much of a spectacle to a wedding full of people I don't know...)

And one of the bridesmaids I've never met before was able to pick me out as well at the bar.

Kim: "You're Kyle, right?"

Me: "That's me."

Kim: "Penny's told me all kinds of stories about you."

Me: "Ah. Well, I hope they're good ones..."

And then we just talked about the differences between Calgary, where she's from, and Edmonton, as well as how easy it is to pick out the real cowboys out of the Stampede/Klondike posers.

One thing I was shocked about at this Moose Jaw wedding was the deejay. Granted, he was playing quite a bit of country and old dance tunes to make the older people happy, but when I came up to request a song, he had it.

Me: "Do you take requests?"

DJ: "Sure. What're you looking for?"

Me: "Got any Outkast?"

DJ: "Yup. Which song?"

Me: "I've got a choice of Outkast songs? I don't even get that at Edmonton weddings!"

He had four tracks from Outkast: Hey Ya, Roses, I Like the Way You Move, and The Whole World.

I asked for either Hey Ya or The Way You Move. Told him to surprise me. But I know when I get married? Bombs over Bagdhad is going to be on the list...

Alas, I never got to hear it, as I left the reception when the engineering girls left. I didn't really feel like sitting at an empty table at that point.

So, yeah, I'm glad I was able to come down to Moose Jaw for this. It was a lot better than I expected a wedding where I knew nobody to be...


Silly Dan said...

Waitwaitwait....Edmonton DJs would have only one or no Outkast songs?

That's ludicrous. (Not Ludakris, either.)

The Doc said...

Dude. When I get married, not only is B.O.B. going to be on the song list, it's going to be the Kara-O-Ke version. And there will be microphones for you and I to sing it. We will be crowned the Kings of the Wedding. And then, I will get a stern talking to from my new Queen. But still, it will have been worth it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, look, I get to post anonymously this time, instead of having to sign up for an account (a la Diary Land).

I'm glad to see that my wedding got good reviews!

The engineering girls are all single (mostly), BTW, so if you're looking for a hook up...

Sorry, dude, the photographer is married with a kid.

We didn't assign seating because it's stuffy, IMHO. And in case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly stuffy folks. And it would've made my life increasingly difficult considering we have 9 (!) living parents between my husband (tee hee hee) and I.

I'll be sure to pass along to the DJ how impressed you were with his Outkast collection.

It's too bad that Lisa (the engineering girl) got so smashed that Joy & Christina had to put her to bed. At least that's what I heard ... Usually they're one of the last ones to leave.

Jago said...

"Sorry, dude, the photographer is married with a kid."

When has that ever mattered to me? Oh, right. Always...

"It's too bad that Lisa (the engineering girl) got so smashed that Joy & Christina had to put her to bed. At least that's what I heard ..."

It's true. Lisa was a little too happy. Christina was almost that way early on in the evening, but she sobered up in the later part...

"The engineering girls are all single (mostly)"

How can someone be "mostly" single? And Christina's the one who dated StreetNiX Trent, right?

Anonymous said...

No, Christina dated Streenix Tony. And it was bad.

Lisa tends to have long-term, no-commitments relationships. Although she may be rethinking that strategy.