In the past few months, I've boarded the Scott Pilgrim train.

An independent comic from a Toronto author, Scott Pilgrim deals with, well, 23-year-old Scott Pilgrim, a bassist in the rock band Sex Bomb-omb. He meets this girl Ramona, who's got seven evil ex-boyfriends that Scott has to defeat in order for Ramona to be truly his girl. Riddled with pop-culture references everywhere, and a lot of eight-bit gaming jokes (the first ex-boyfriend he defeats leaves behind a 1-Up), it's an awesome read for those people who aren't big fans of the usual superhero comics. Part manga, part old-school Oni black-and-white indy, it's truly awesome.

I've been getting it from the mall's comic shop, and so the owner tends to look out for things I like (I spend at least $20 a week there, so I'm a decent customer). The only other guy he gets Scott Pilgrim in for recommended a similar book. The owner asked if I wanted to try it. Sure, why not? It's cheap.

So I picked up Sharknife. While Pilgrim is manga-influenced, Sharknife is full-on manga. How manga, you may ask? A Chinese restaurant busboy turns into an armored warrior to defeat monsters that live in the walls.

It's super-busy artwork, in the fact that it's sometimes hard for me to pick out the action. So I was pretty lukewarm halfway through the book. Until the last sequence in the book.

It's an eggroll festival. And one of the monsters is a robo-bear that craves eggrolls. I let out a giddy emission of glee once or twice, because really, when you're dealing with a warrior grappling with a robot bear in order to save a mountain of eggrolls? As one character puts it, "he headlocked a freakin' BEAR!" Yeah, I enjoy stuff like that.

So, not half as good as Scott Pilgrim, but for a guy who loves bear/human battles, it had something for me.


Live and Let Fringe schedule: Apocalypse Kow vs. the Masters of Evil

Sunday, August 19 1:50pm (TransAlta)
Sunday, August 19 10:15pm (Journal)
Tuesday, August 21 8:05pm (Journal)
Wednesday, August 22 6:45pm (Journal)
Friday, August 24 9:00pm (TransAlta)
Saturday, August 25 6:00pm (TransAlta)
Sunday, August 26 2:20pm (TransAlta)
Sunday, August 26 6:05pm (Journal)

Yeah, we've got less times this year. I'm not sure what's up with the schedule committee, other than the fact it's their first year doing this. My question is, if every other outdoor stage I know ALSO has ass times, who the hell's getting the awesome ones?

If it's Hoja, I'm going to be pissed.



It was only about ten years ago that I got back into watching wrestling. As a youngster, I would watch incessantly, but during high school, I grew out of it, only to be pulled back in a good six years later by my friend Rich. It was 1997, and WCW was picking up a lot of steam with their storylines. Let's face it, 1990s-WCW had a lot of crap, but it was some of the smaller stories and midcard wrestlers that held my attention.

Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, and a slew of others kept me entertained, either with their wrestling talent, hilarious plotlines (mainly due to being able to get away with crap because they were under the radar. But one man I could always count on to have a great match was Chris Benoit.

He was born in Montreal and raised in Edmonton. He made his mark in Stampede Wrestling down in Calgary. Soon, he was one of the top independent wrestlers in the world. Everywhere he went, he pulled off great matches. New Japan Pro Wrestling as the masked wrestler Pegasus Kid. ECW where he got his nickname of the Crippler. WCW as part of the Four Horsemen and the awesome best-of-seven series with Booker T. And when he came to the WWE, the biggest stage in wrestling? That's where he really made his mark.

I'll be honest, he's not the kind of guy you stick a mic in front of. It wasn't charisma or that it-factor, he got my attention by wrestling. He was one of the best technical wrestlers that ever stepped into the ring. And he was from where I live, which made it even better.

Right now, the circumstances surrounding the death of Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their child are looking bad. Seriously bad. As in, "every single thought you about about your personal hero is shattered" bad. But I'm not going to focus on that, not until this absurd case is closed. If it does go the way that police are speculating, well, then Chris Benoit was dealing with demons I couldn't even begin to imagine...

But I choose to focus not on these deaths, but the life I've been given through the matches that Chris Benoit has given me. The Smackdown taping here in Edmonton where he gave "Stone Cold" Steve Austin something like ten German suplexes as the hometown crowd counted them out with fervor. The Backlash 2004 main event, again in Edmonton, where he defended his World Heavyweight Championship by making Shawn Michaels tap to a sharpshooter. Every time Benoit would wrestle in Edmonton, he was treated like royalty, and I made every attempt to see him live as often as I could.

My thoughts go out to the extended families and friends of Chris Benoit and his wife. If my circle of friends, adoring Benoit fans, are being rocked by the news, it must be a million times worse for those people who knew the man. My prayers go out to everyone as we try to figure out what exactly happened this weekend, as we try to make sense of this tragedy.

Chris Benoit, you will be missed.


My least favourite opening line

You know it's going to be a bad customer when the first words out of their mouth is "It hasn't worked from day one."

This, loosely translated, means, "Look, I know this is way over the 30 day return period, but I'm not going to leave until you make me happy." Problem is, there's a reason we have a thirty day return period. Anything that's hanging around your place for over a month probably isn't that sellable. Which is why people ALWAYS bring up the "this never worked, and that's why I'm bringing it back six months after purchase." God, I'd love to be able to say, "Look, if it never worked from day one, why didn't you bring it in on day two? Or day seven? Or day twenty?" Because day one-hundred and forty-one? No refund. That fucking thing's going out to repair.

Luckily, since this DVD player wasn't bought at MY store, I was able to pass the buck to the other store in the mall, where they originally bought it, and let THAT manager try to make them happy.

The other problem customer I had today bought a Sony camera from my downtown store. Currently, our promotion gives away an SD memory card free with a camera purchase. On specific SD-capable cameras. So why did downtown give away a card for a camera that can't use it? Dumbasses.

Customer: This card doesn't fit.

Me: Oh, okay.

My mind: Who the fuck sold this to you? One of my co-workers? I'll kill them for being such idiots.

Me: Did you buy this from my store?

Customer: No, I bought it from downtown.

Me: Ah.

My mind: Figures.

Customer: So, can we swap this card for one that fits?

I explain to him that downtown shouldn't have sold him that SD card, since the deal is specifically for cameras that aren't Sony. As such, if I sell him a new card, he's going to have to pay for it. He's fine with paying the difference, which is why I try to explain to him that when he got the card for free, there's no difference to pay. It's the full amount.

Customer: But I see you carry these cards for twenty dollars.

Me: Yes, but since you got that card for free, that is, you didn't pay anything for it, in the event of an exchange, it's a zero dollar item. You'd pay $40 for the MemoryStick that works in your camera.

Customer: But if the card costs twenty dollars, I'd only pay twenty more, right?

Me: No, you're not listening to me. Since you got the card for free, a new card would not be forty minus twenty, it would be forty minus zero.

Customer: So why should I bother returning the card?

Me: Good question.

My mind: Because downtown's a bunch of fuck ups?

* * *

Hey, look who's posting again! Now, I actually had a legit reason for not posting in the past three months, and that's because my power supply in the Compaq died. And have you ever tried getting a proprietary part for a six-year-old machine?

No, I just replaced the bugger. Nice new system, too. Dual core processor, 2 gigs of memory, 320 gigs of hard drive space, and a spiffy case that's got enough fans to generate electricity for the block. It's going to be pretty hard to ruin this power supply...

Yes, I had limited access while I was without a computer, but seriously, I was using that time to write promos for Kyle Roberts. The guy needs wins.

But I'm back now, and I'm-a gonna hit the sack for a bit of a nap. Expect more posts. Not crazy overcompensating posting, but enough to keep the people who read me somewhat happy. Or, at least, happier than they were when I disappeared for three months.


Apocalypse Kow - Fat Bottomed Girl

Yes, I'm aware that the ends of these songs are being cut off. I have to ask Barber Senior what that's about. Also, ignore the video/audio discrepancies.

Apocalypse Kow - Under the Boardwalk

Spruce Grove Canada Day Celebration

Apocalypse Kow - Wicked Game

Gil on lead. Ignore the speeding up, it happens every now and then...

Streaming Kow!

Looks like Barber Senior was able to upload some Apocalypse Kow videos from last year's Canada Day celebrations. Enjoy.

An Open Letter to That Jackass On 170 St.

Hi, remember me? That guy driving in front of you that you decided to honk at seven times to try to make me drive faster?

What the hell's your deal, idiot? If I'm driving the speed limit, there's no freakin' reason that you should try to rush me on the Whitemud onramp. Fifty's fine considering we're just getting out of winter weather, and everything's strating to thaw out but isn't quite done dry yet.

Ever take science in high school, braintrust? Negative Celsius temperatures make for icy roads./ Trust me on this, I almost skidded out on the Fox Drive cloverleaf the night before. So for you to be honking at me in these conditions aren't going to do shit to make me go any faster.

Geez, you're still doing it? What kind of loser are you? Have you noticed I'm driving a Ford Escort? You are aware they're wimpy cars, right? A small engine, no acceleration? What makes you think I'm going to boot it right out of the gate? Eighty's the limit on the freeway, not the onramp. What the hell kind of idiot are you? Sure, keep on honking. I'm still accelerating at my Escort speed, not your penis enhancement. That's right. Ride my bumper. I'd have given you the finger, but I'm pretty sure you'd take it the right way.

Oh, hey, passing me's an option, isn't it? Too bad the other cars are going the exact same speed as me. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?

Bite me.

Sincerely, Jago

* * *

Seriously? December 16th? Wow. I mean, I know that Christmas was insane for me, but I had a week vacation where I could have been posting and everything. Oh, right. E-wrestling.

I don't want whatever readers that still have hope that I post promptly to feel bad about this, but remember how this blog was a good way for me to keep my writing chops honed? Well, I've got the NAPW for that now. Because I'm usually posting a good two or three times a week, with more writing thrown in for good measure. I'm not closing down this blog, because, hey, it's still a good way to vent. And I understand how you want more content from me. Like how are my concerts doing? Well, they're good. I enjoy them immensely. How's Kow doing? If we're getting gigs every month and going to places like Millet to perform, I'm thinking we're on the path to more success, so that's good. Vidoe Games Live? That was awesome. Thanks for asking. How's the job? The job is the job. Annoyances everywhere, to the point where I'm afraid they'd just get repetitive story-wise.

How's the e-wrestling? Super-fun with the new direction my wrestler, Kyle Roberts, took. He turned on Bruce Richards, Devin's wrestler, for a singles career, and man it's fun being an absolute jerk. The New and Improved D-X is dead, but we had a hell of a ride. Five time tag champs. Other trophies from other feds. D-X hardly did wrong, but it was time to change it up a bit, and this new storyline has certainly done that.

How's the love life? NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!

It's cool, just hang out here, relax, and let's cross our fingers that I return soon.