So is this why my district manager's pissed off at me constantly?

Last week, I was asked to go to an assistant manager meeting on my day off. Now, I missed the last one, and my DSM, Mike, called up Chris to find out why I didn't go (I slept in).

So I show up at this meeting, and Jason, the AM of West Ed, said, "Jago! Long time no see!"

Me: "Sure, I missed the last one."

Jason: "Oh, it's been more than one."

I was confused, but I thought that Jason was exaggerating. It happens with him.

And then we had the usual kind of AM meeting, where I was sitting in the back, throwing out snappy comments every now and then. Granted, I was not always the ass, and did throw in a legitimate two cents when necessary. Still, as the guy in the district with the most senority, I feel I can come off as the jaded wiseass.

Today, I was calling up Kingsway to steal some product. Ammon was asking me if he could bring it to tomorrow's meeting.

Me: What meeting?

Ammon: The assistant manager's meeting. You know, the one we have every week?

Me: I'd hardly call last week and once a month every week.

Ammon: No, we've been having them every week. For about a month or so.

Me: So, exactly why was I not told about this?

And after I got off the phone with Ammon, I realized exactly what Jason was talking about. And realized that I must be in Mike's bad book for not attending meetings I wasn't aware of.

Gotta remember to tell my boss about scheduling me so I can make these meetings from now on.

* * *

My boss signed something with my initials, to show that I was the one who was taking care of it. Only he made my initials K.G.

So I told him that my initials were, in fact, K.J.

Me: "It's not like my name's Kyle Gay-go."

Mark looks at me with a smirk. Before he could say anything, I replied, "No, it's really not. And I'm not."


Odd Transformations 24: Why must Dev consistently be the most crazy guy in my dreams?

A few days back, I had a dream about being in a downtown scene. Not sure if it was downtown Moose Jaw, but it very well could have been due to the size of it.

In any case, it involved listening to the Arcade Fire, a Canadian rock group, who were in an abandoned storefront, doing a concert.

But the dream I really want to talk about is the one I had this morning.

It was set in a library. Canton and I were studying or something. Or we were there to support people studying.

Otis P. enters, who I haven't seen in a while. We start catching up.

Otis: "So, how's Dev doing?"

Me: "You can ask him yourself." I point to the top of a bookshelf where Dev is hidden in shadows, reading.

Only as I'm explaining to Otis, this library is apparently connected to a zoo, since that bookshelf top is encased by a cage, and there are animals running through it.

"You see, Otis, Dev's got some handlers bringing animals in there, so he can pretend it's a company. That's why that warthog is dressed up in a sportsjacket. Hey, Dev!"

Dev pokes his head into the light. "Yeah?"

"How is it again? The animals are working for you, or are they your bosses?"

Dev scowls at me. "I'm dressed like I normally am because some top CEOs can dress however they want to. That's why the animals aren't dressed casually."

"Oh, right. Okay, you can go back to your book now."

At which point I wake up.

* * *

Finally celebrated my birthday this weekend. A few of us went to the Outback, where I had a GREAT prime rib dinner. (Must go back. And will with Canton's celebration meal soon.) Afterwards, we went bowling. My favourite part was programming MFJ's name in while she was visiting the bathroom.

MFJ: "So, are we ready to play?"
Me: "OH, yeah."
MFJ: "Who's 'Pintsize Killah?'"
I snigger.

The next night was Dev's birthday. Kit had brought over the newest Marlowe and Allan and I were keeping her occupied. Although every time it was only me and the toddler, she's falling over and hurting herself or something.

I tell you, it's not easy to have to explain that she fell again and that I wasn't pushing an eight-month old around.

Although Dev's grad school friends were amused when I gave her a paper plate and sold all her attempts at bashing me in the head with it.

Afterwards was Karaoke. And Cribbit's has the most eclectic list I've seen in a while. When I can sing Junior Senior pretty halfassedly because I forget how few words there actually are in it. As it was, I was asking, "Why have they raided my obscure MP3 list for songs?"

Dev said it was the most fun he's had watching me sing. I dunno; what about me singing Collective Soul at the Power Plant about three years back?

* * *

So I've been transferred again. This is completely insane, because I remember a time where I was at a store for years, not just weeks. In my first four years of working for the company, it was a year and a half at Kingsway, a year and a half at Bonnie Doon, a half a year at Kingsway again, a half a year at Bonnie Doon again.

In the past year since that period I have worked at the following places: West Ed (3 months), Downtown (4 months), temped at Northgate for a week, and then it was Mill Woods for two weeks. And now Capilano mall? Whatever.

All I'm asking for is some fucking stability here, all right? Also, I don't want my stability to happen at the graveyard that is Capilano. Although there are some cute girls around here.

* * *

My mom came up for a few days at the end of February. It was fun, since I was able to go to my aunt's for a homecooked meal. Also, Mom got me new tires for my car and a new set of luggage for my birthday. That doesn't suck at all.

* * *

I broke down and bought World of Warcraft. Canton and I had a blast playing a pair of Minotaurs who we jokingly called Thunder and Lightning, collectively, since I was a hunter with a rifle and he was a shaman who could hit enemies with spells.

I think I'll have fun with this game. And, man, does it look pretty on Myles' old video card.

Off to play some more.


The Coolest Car in the World

So I'm driving home from work yesterday, and on the drive up Calgary Trail, I found what has to be the coolest vehicle on the roads.

It's some sort of truck, okay, except i have no clue what kind of truck it is, since I was too dazzled by it.

The owner had decked it out with multicolour neon, so under the truck and the license plate holder would both go from blue to red to purple, etc. Awesome so far, right?

The rear window of the cab had a HUGE Playboy decal on it, so you KNOW they've got to be the biggest players and chick magnets in the world!

When the side door opened, I could see that they've got neon on the inside. And I thought it was cool before!

When I was directly behind them turning on to Whyte Ave, I saw the penultimate piece de resistance: A translucent blue set of squishy rubber testicles HANGING FROM THE TRAILER HITCH!!!

I am in love with the truck, and really wish I was friends with the owner. He's SO COOL!

Odd Transformations 23: Man, infants pack a punch...

So this dream involved a Mill Woods-like mall, and my dad was owning/managing a store that my sister and I were working at.

A family business.

It was a slow day, since I would constantly be wandering around the mall, seeing what was new. There was apparently a bar I kept on going into. A bar that had either new books or new comic book trades on its tables, since I was perusing the tables to see if there were any I hadn't read.

A toddler wanders into the bar. I pick him up to take him outside the bar to his mom. The kid starts screaming for his dad as soon as I take him into my arms.

I start trying to console him: "Shhh. No, your mommy's here. I'm taking you to her."

I hand the kid to his mother, who smiles and thanks me, apologizing for the way her son was acting up.

EJ appears on the scene. I tell the mother it's no problem, and EJ and I head back towards the store.

From behind me, I hear a gurgling gagging from the toddler. I think to myself "Uh oh. This isn't good."

At which point a tidal wave of vomit hits me full force, knocking me over. To the point where I'm completely covered from head to toe.

At which point I know I need to leave the mall, head home, and shower and change clothes. But first I have to tell Dad.

That's pretty much where I woke up, after some talking with my dad about how I obviously have to leave work early, since I'm covered in baby spew. As was EJ, but not quite as much as I was.

* * *

The newest lineup of Channel 101 shorts has hit, including a brand new House of Cosbys.

Seriously, this show keeps on getting better and better.

Also, Laser Fart, the show that at the beginning of its run was a way for the admin of the site to show what he meant about knocking a pilot off in a few hours, has become the emotional center of the site. Seriously.

Also, you might want to check out Dick Richards, Private Dick, a story about a detective that's amazingly animated with a bunch of black and white photographs. Such great stuff this month, although one of my faves, Magick Haus, was cancelled this time around.

* * *

I'm making the evite for my birthday party today. We're going to go bowling if it kills me.

* * *

But for now, there's a bit more sleep I want to catch up on. Just wanted to transcribe my dream before I forgot about it.