Two conversations

Okay, before I start this, yes, I was in the West Ed Mall when it decided to have fun at customers' expenses on Sunday.

My store was not hurt in the last, but that's because we're on the second floor, kind of hidden away compared to, say, the lower RS, which was shut down for a few days and recieved at least $10,000 worth of damaged merchandise.

* * *

These days, I'm getting ready for the three weddings in three weekends. First up tomorrow is Foreman's and the Amazon's.

Then I go down to Calgary for Rich's wedding.

Then comes Reag and Rob's. And then I move out of this place back into the house...

But so I'm making sure that everything's cool for my trip down to Calgary, arranging plans with my date for Rich's wedding, A-Lo.

On Wednesday, I call her up.

A-Lo: So, what did you want me to wear for the wedding?

Me: Well, something dressy, I guess. It's not like I'm asking you to blow away every other woman who's going.

A-Lo: You don't want me to blow away every other woman?

Me: Okay, I said I'm not asking you to do that. I never said I don't want you to...

A-Lo: Okay, then. Pleather it is.

Me: Hey, whoa. I have no problems with you dressing to kill, but don't be overshadowing ME.

A-Lo: [laughs]

Me: Because I'M the one who'll be dressing in pleather.

At which point I realize, A-Lo's doesn't know the story of me and pleather, that one time at improv where European model Jago hosted.

Later in our conversation, A-Lo asks me if I remembered telling her about my sister's boyfriend, Kyle, who works at a Starbucks in Calgary (and who, coincidentally, A-Lo helped to train).

A-Lo had moved to a new place a few months ago, and one day she had lost her cat. So she was trying to find it, and two houses down, ran into Kyle mowing the lawn.

Me: Wait. So you live on the same block as my sister and her boyfriend?

A-Lo: Yup.

Me: Wow. Crazy.

After getting off the phone with her, I realize that I might want to call up either my aunt Lorna or my sister, in the hopes of finding a place to sleep for the weekend.

The next day at work, I decide to call up Lorna first, because I know she has just a little more room in her huge house than EJ has in her one bedroom apartment, which is about two thirds the size of mine.

The phone is picked up by a young woman whose voice I don't really recognize.

Girl: Hello?

Me: [confused] Sarah? [wait a sec, wasn't my cousin still in Halifax?]

Girl: [sort of annoyed] No...

Me: Well, then, who is this?

Girl: Oh my god.

Me: EJ? Is that you?

My sister: Yes.

Me: What are you doing at Lorna's house?

EJ: I live here?

Me: Since WHEN?

EJ: You didn't know? Kyle and I broke up?

Me: How long ago was this?

EJ: I dunno. Four months ago?

Me: Since FEBRUARY?

EJ: Yeah.

Me: So how long have you lived at Lorna's then?

EJ: A month.

Me: Seriously?

EJ: Yeah. Really? Mom or Dad didn't tell you about this?

Me: It never came up. Besides, I get most of my news from Brade, and you know how well he prioritizes.

EJ: [laughs] Yeah.

Me: Did you hear what happened after Tara's wedding reception?

EJ: No.

Me: I'm talking to Brade about it online, and so I ask, "Hey, how was the wedding reception?" He answers "We had ham."

EJ: [and I shit you not, this is what she actually says...} Let me get this straight: "How was our cousin's wedding celebration?" "There was pork?" [For those of you not quite getting it, go down the page until 07.05, the paragraph above my Spider-Man 2 rant. See a coincidence? I'm positive the reason my sister and I fought so much in our younger days was due to our having almost the same sort of mindset...]

Me: What? What did you just...? Never mind. So, I was wondering if there'd be some way I'd be able to stay over, since I'm going down for next weekend's wedding.

EJ: Well, the family will be gone, but I'll be around. You can stay hre for the weekend. Wait a second: Isn't Mom and Brade going up there next weekend to help you move?

Me: Yeah. But they'll be coming on Sunday afternoon, the same time I head back.

EJ: Oh. Okay.

Me: Well, cool. This means I don't have to call you and Kyle and ask for a place to stay. My, that would have been awkward...

So, to recap: My friend A-Lo has moved in a few doors down from my sister's ex. Which is good I found out, since dropping off A-Lo after the wedding and going to two houses for convenience's sake might have been a little strange, considering that I have no clue about EJ's and Kyle's relationship...

* * *

Yesterday, I won my first tour in Tiger Woods 2k4. $300,000 straight in my pocket, after blowing away the competition by more than eight strokes.

Kyle Jago is one Nike whore in that game, let me tell you....Good ol' sponsorship money...