tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78749292024-03-12T17:55:58.429-06:00Biting the Hand That Reads MeA Novel of Comical Errors Wherein the Main Character Jago Rants Upon Various Subjects Culled From Modern-Day Experiences...Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.comBlogger264125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-133325520527215262007-09-03T19:45:00.000-06:002007-09-03T20:09:35.010-06:00ROAR!In the past few months, I've boarded the <a href="http://www.scottpilgrim.com/index2.html">Scott Pilgrim</a> train.<br /><br />An independent comic from a Toronto author, Scott Pilgrim deals with, well, 23-year-old Scott Pilgrim, a bassist in the rock band Sex Bomb-omb. He meets this girl Ramona, who's got seven evil ex-boyfriends that Scott has to defeat in order for Ramona to be truly his girl. Riddled with pop-culture references everywhere, and a lot of eight-bit gaming jokes (the first ex-boyfriend he defeats leaves behind a 1-Up), it's an awesome read for those people who aren't big fans of the usual superhero comics. Part manga, part old-school Oni black-and-white indy, it's truly awesome.<br /><br />I've been getting it from the mall's comic shop, and so the owner tends to look out for things I like (I spend at least $20 a week there, so I'm a decent customer). The only other guy he gets Scott Pilgrim in for recommended a similar book. The owner asked if I wanted to try it. Sure, why not? It's cheap.<br /><br />So I picked up <a href="http://www.reyyy.com/sharknife/">Sharknife</a>. While Pilgrim is manga-influenced, Sharknife is full-on manga. How manga, you may ask? A Chinese restaurant busboy turns into an armored warrior to defeat monsters that live in the walls.<br /><br /><br />It's super-busy artwork, in the fact that it's sometimes hard for me to pick out the action. So I was pretty lukewarm halfway through the book. Until the last sequence in the book.<br /><br />It's an eggroll festival. And one of the monsters is a robo-bear that craves eggrolls. I let out a giddy emission of glee once or twice, because really, when you're dealing with a warrior grappling with a robot bear in order to save a mountain of eggrolls? As one character puts it, "he headlocked a freakin' BEAR!" Yeah, I <a href="http://napwpres.proboards2.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1134156915">enjoy stuff like that.</a><br /><br />So, not half as good as Scott Pilgrim, but for a guy who loves bear/human battles, it had something for me.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-72832747837361968872007-08-14T11:45:00.001-06:002007-08-14T11:47:23.936-06:00Live and Let Fringe schedule: Apocalypse Kow vs. the Masters of EvilSunday, August 19 1:50pm (TransAlta)<br />Sunday, August 19 10:15pm (Journal)<br />Tuesday, August 21 8:05pm (Journal)<br />Wednesday, August 22 6:45pm (Journal)<br />Friday, August 24 9:00pm (TransAlta)<br />Saturday, August 25 6:00pm (TransAlta)<br />Sunday, August 26 2:20pm (TransAlta)<br />Sunday, August 26 6:05pm (Journal)<br /><br />Yeah, we've got less times this year. I'm not sure what's up with the schedule committee, other than the fact it's their first year doing this. My question is, if every other outdoor stage I know ALSO has ass times, who the hell's getting the awesome ones?<br /><br />If it's Hoja, I'm going to be pissed.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-900227012653089302007-06-26T01:24:00.000-06:002007-06-26T18:56:44.699-06:00RequiemIt was only about ten years ago that I got back into watching wrestling. As a youngster, I would watch incessantly, but during high school, I grew out of it, only to be pulled back in a good six years later by my friend Rich. It was 1997, and WCW was picking up a lot of steam with their storylines. Let's face it, 1990s-WCW had a lot of crap, but it was some of the smaller stories and midcard wrestlers that held my attention.<br /><br />Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, and a slew of others kept me entertained, either with their wrestling talent, hilarious plotlines (mainly due to being able to get away with crap because they were under the radar. But one man I could always count on to have a great match was Chris Benoit.<br /><br />He was born in Montreal and raised in Edmonton. He made his mark in Stampede Wrestling down in Calgary. Soon, he was one of the top independent wrestlers in the world. Everywhere he went, he pulled off great matches. New Japan Pro Wrestling as the masked wrestler Pegasus Kid. ECW where he got his nickname of the Crippler. WCW as part of the Four Horsemen and the awesome best-of-seven series with Booker T. And when he came to the WWE, the biggest stage in wrestling? That's where he really made his mark.<br /><br />I'll be honest, he's not the kind of guy you stick a mic in front of. It wasn't charisma or that it-factor, he got my attention by wrestling. He was one of the best technical wrestlers that ever stepped into the ring. And he was from where I live, which made it even better.<br /><br />Right now, the circumstances surrounding the death of Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their child are looking bad. Seriously bad. <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,286673,00.html">As in, "every single thought you about about your personal hero is shattered" bad. </a>But I'm not going to focus on that, not until this absurd case is closed. If it does go the way that police are speculating, well, then Chris Benoit was dealing with demons I couldn't even begin to imagine...<br /><br />But I choose to focus not on these deaths, but the life I've been given through the matches that Chris Benoit has given me. The Smackdown taping here in Edmonton where he gave "Stone Cold" Steve Austin something like ten German suplexes as the hometown crowd counted them out with fervor. The Backlash 2004 main event, again in Edmonton, where he defended his World Heavyweight Championship by making Shawn Michaels tap to a sharpshooter. Every time Benoit would wrestle in Edmonton, he was treated like royalty, and I made every attempt to see him live as often as I could.<br /><br />My thoughts go out to the extended families and friends of Chris Benoit and his wife. If my circle of friends, adoring Benoit fans, are being rocked by the news, it must be a million times worse for those people who knew the man. My prayers go out to everyone as we try to figure out what exactly happened this weekend, as we try to make sense of this tragedy.<br /><br />Chris Benoit, you will be missed.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-53005930810952390952007-06-17T18:10:00.001-06:002007-06-17T18:29:09.000-06:00My least favourite opening lineYou know it's going to be a bad customer when the first words out of their mouth is "It hasn't worked from day one."<br /><br />This, loosely translated, means, "Look, I know this is way over the 30 day return period, but I'm not going to leave until you make me happy." Problem is, there's a reason we have a thirty day return period. Anything that's hanging around your place for over a month probably isn't that sellable. Which is why people ALWAYS bring up the "this never worked, and that's why I'm bringing it back six months after purchase." God, I'd love to be able to say, "Look, if it never worked from day one, why didn't you bring it in on day two? Or day seven? Or day twenty?" Because day one-hundred and forty-one? No refund. That fucking thing's going out to repair.<br /><br />Luckily, since this DVD player wasn't bought at MY store, I was able to pass the buck to the other store in the mall, where they originally bought it, and let THAT manager try to make them happy.<br /><br />The other problem customer I had today bought a Sony camera from my downtown store. Currently, our promotion gives away an SD memory card free with a camera purchase. On specific SD-capable cameras. So why did downtown give away a card for a camera that can't use it? Dumbasses.<br /><br />Customer: This card doesn't fit.<br /><br />Me: Oh, okay.<br /><br />My mind: Who the fuck sold this to you? One of my co-workers? I'll kill them for being such idiots.<br /><br />Me: Did you buy this from my store?<br /><br />Customer: No, I bought it from downtown.<br /><br />Me: Ah.<br /><br />My mind: Figures.<br /><br />Customer: So, can we swap this card for one that fits?<br /><br />I explain to him that downtown shouldn't have sold him that SD card, since the deal is specifically for cameras that aren't Sony. As such, if I sell him a new card, he's going to have to pay for it. He's fine with paying the difference, which is why I try to explain to him that when he got the card for free, there's no difference to pay. It's the full amount.<br /><br />Customer: But I see you carry these cards for twenty dollars.<br /><br />Me: Yes, but since you got that card for free, that is, you didn't pay anything for it, in the event of an exchange, it's a zero dollar item. You'd pay $40 for the MemoryStick that works in your camera.<br /><br />Customer: But if the card costs twenty dollars, I'd only pay twenty more, right?<br /><br />Me: No, you're not listening to me. Since you got the card for free, a new card would not be forty minus twenty, it would be forty minus zero.<br /><br />Customer: So why should I bother returning the card?<br /><br />Me: Good question.<br /><br />My mind: Because downtown's a bunch of fuck ups?<br /><br />* * *<br /><br />Hey, look who's posting again! Now, I actually had a legit reason for not posting in the past three months, and that's because my power supply in the Compaq died. And have you ever tried getting a proprietary part for a six-year-old machine?<br /><br />No, I just replaced the bugger. Nice new system, too. Dual core processor, 2 gigs of memory, 320 gigs of hard drive space, and a spiffy case that's got enough fans to generate electricity for the block. It's going to be pretty hard to ruin this power supply...<br /><br />Yes, I had limited access while I was without a computer, but seriously, I was using that time to write promos for Kyle Roberts. The guy needs wins.<br /><br />But I'm back now, and I'm-a gonna hit the sack for a bit of a nap. Expect more posts. Not crazy overcompensating posting, but enough to keep the people who read me somewhat happy. Or, at least, happier than they were when I disappeared for three months.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-38641630346151240752007-03-14T23:16:00.001-06:002007-03-14T23:16:57.441-06:00Apocalypse Kow - Fat Bottomed Girl<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/2DUcxgvOw-g' name='movie'></param><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/2DUcxgvOw-g'></embed></object></p><p>Yes, I'm aware that the ends of these songs are being cut off. I have to ask Barber Senior what that's about. Also, ignore the video/audio discrepancies.</p></div>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-56228223197846518952007-03-14T22:57:00.001-06:002007-03-14T22:57:47.097-06:00Apocalypse Kow - Under the Boardwalk<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/mN1075rQm4A' name='movie'></param><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/mN1075rQm4A'></embed></object></p><p>Spruce Grove Canada Day Celebration</p></div>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-35792866478030274202007-03-14T22:56:00.001-06:002007-03-14T22:56:26.775-06:00Apocalypse Kow - Wicked Game<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/agpSm7mFJNw' name='movie'></param><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/agpSm7mFJNw'></embed></object></p><p>Gil on lead. Ignore the speeding up, it happens every now and then...</p></div>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-46420880286222062472007-03-14T22:49:00.000-06:002007-03-14T22:55:58.766-06:00Streaming Kow!Looks like Barber Senior was able to upload some Apocalypse Kow videos from last year's Canada Day celebrations. Enjoy.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-75071737903836554342007-03-14T22:19:00.000-06:002007-03-14T22:39:58.938-06:00An Open Letter to That Jackass On 170 St.Hi, remember me? That guy driving in front of you that you decided to honk at seven times to try to make me drive faster?<br /><br />What the hell's your deal, idiot? If I'm driving the speed limit, there's no freakin' reason that you should try to rush me on the Whitemud onramp. Fifty's fine considering we're just getting out of winter weather, and everything's strating to thaw out but isn't quite done dry yet.<br /><br />Ever take science in high school, braintrust? Negative Celsius temperatures make for icy roads./ Trust me on this, I almost skidded out on the Fox Drive cloverleaf the night before. So for you to be honking at me in these conditions aren't going to do shit to make me go any faster.<br /><br />Geez, you're still doing it? What kind of loser are you? Have you noticed I'm driving a Ford Escort? You are aware they're wimpy cars, right? A small engine, no acceleration? What makes you think I'm going to boot it right out of the gate? Eighty's the limit on the freeway, not the onramp. What the hell kind of idiot are you? Sure, keep on honking. I'm still accelerating at my Escort speed, not your penis enhancement. That's right. Ride my bumper. I'd have given you the finger, but I'm pretty sure you'd take it the right way.<br /><br />Oh, hey, passing me's an option, isn't it? Too bad the other cars are going the exact same speed as me. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?<br /><br />Bite me.<br /><br />Sincerely, Jago<br /><br />* * *<br /><br /><br />Seriously? December 16th? Wow. I mean, I know that Christmas was insane for me, but I had a week vacation where I could have been posting and everything. Oh, right. E-wrestling.<br /><br />I don't want whatever readers that still have hope that I post promptly to feel bad about this, but remember how this blog was a good way for me to keep my writing chops honed? Well, I've got the NAPW for that now. Because I'm usually posting a good two or three times a week, with more writing thrown in for good measure. I'm not closing down this blog, because, hey, it's still a good way to vent. And I understand how you want more content from me. Like how are my concerts doing? Well, they're good. I enjoy them immensely. How's Kow doing? If we're getting gigs every month and going to places like Millet to perform, I'm thinking we're on the path to more success, so that's good. Vidoe Games Live? That was awesome. Thanks for asking. How's the job? The job is the job. Annoyances everywhere, to the point where I'm afraid they'd just get repetitive story-wise.<br /><br />How's the e-wrestling? Super-fun with the new direction my wrestler, Kyle Roberts, took. He turned on Bruce Richards, Devin's wrestler, for a singles career, and man it's fun being an absolute jerk. The New and Improved D-X is dead, but we had a hell of a ride. Five time tag champs. Other trophies from other feds. D-X hardly did wrong, but it was time to change it up a bit, and this new storyline has certainly done that.<br /><br />How's the love life? NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!<br /><br /><br />It's cool, just hang out here, relax, and let's cross our fingers that I return soon.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1167189133500510992006-12-26T19:41:00.000-07:002006-12-26T20:12:13.526-07:00An Open Letter to West Edmonton Mall PatronsUm, hi. How the hell did you get in the store? We're closed. We have been since six.<br /><br />Yes, we're closed. What, you think that the two inches that the door is open means that we're ready and willing to serve you? Having a closed door isn't enough a deterrent for you? Seriously, are all you WEM patrons that fucking stupid where a closed door simply means open it and walk right in to the furrowed glares of employees? No, I could care less. My frown and repeated statement "We're closed!" doesn't faze you? Seriously, are you that retarded? What, the first three times I shouted it don't clue you in?<br /><br />Why are you approaching the counter? After all that, you're still expecting me to help? It's an hour past when the store closed! Why the hell would I help you? I could care less about your cell phone not working to call overseas. PayGos don't DO that! So it's MY fault you don't understand how a calling card works? Please, I just want to go home. I've been here since 8 am. That's right, the tills are closed. I'm trying to get home. So's my manager. You're leaving? Thank you.<br /><br />No! We're closed! Don't shove your head in the door, and ask! I told you three times! Yes, we open at ten tomorrow. Yes, those sales will still be on tomorrow. But not tonight. I'm not going to ring anything in for you, and I'm CERTAINLY not going to help you out of the goodness of my heart. Dude, even if you came in earlier, I still wouldn't want to help you. I stopped wanting to help people today before we opened the store. Because I'm still trying to remember my happy Christmas day off yesterday. No, "we're closed" does not mean, "ask me one question." Fuck. Fine. What's your fucking question?<br /><br />No, you're kidding me. Asking me "How fast do these cars go" is not one question. Why not? Because that stack of cars includes fifteen different models. It's seven o'clock, I'm not going to answer that. Come in when we're actually fucking open. No. We closed an hour ago. Now, just leave, will you?<br /><br />Fuck! Why the fuck are you in the store? No, the only reason the door was open a foot was because this lamenuts opened the door. I'm not helping him, why the fuck should I help you? We. Are. Closed. No. I will not ring up one item for you. Leave. Tell you what, if you're so stupid to think a closed door is a good invitation, let's shove this computer cart in front of it. Why the hell are you going around my barricade? The fuck? What the fuck are all you shitheads thinking?<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />JagoJagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1166856193728680202006-12-22T23:32:00.000-07:002006-12-22T23:43:13.743-07:00Burnt outSo my store is making record sales this year. L doesn't think we've ever done $30k in sales in one day before and this month, we've done it twice.<br /><br />So that's good.<br /><br />Unfortunately, we're doing it while being at least two people understaffed.<br /><br />That's bad.<br /><br />I'm pulling more than 52 hours a week at the store. One day off a week. And the other days? Well, there's at least one twelve-hour shift in there. Today I left the store at 11 pm.<br /><br />I almost had a breakdown while closing tonight. And I'm not exaggerating here. I was counting the $11,000 in cash we made, and my thumb started becoming numb at the hundredth twenty-dollar bill. And I started chuckling because my thumb was cramping up from counting past one hundred bills. It was too funny, and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down crying because I'm so fucking burnt out now, it's pathetic.<br /><br />My family will be hitting Calgary after Christmas. So there'll be a belated Christmas for the Dokken side of the family, and the first time I'll be able to see Dad since he got his new kidney. And I'm not sure if I'll be able to go after all. Because I don't think I'll be able to get the two days off I'd like. I don't think I'll be able to get two days off period. And one day to drive to Calgary, visit the family, exchange gifts and drive back the same day? No fucking way.<br /><br />I need to sleep. Or try to keep my mind off of it by playing some sweet, sweet Zelda. Just needed to rant.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1166080661636013782006-12-14T00:11:00.000-07:002006-12-14T00:17:41.653-07:00This Is A TestNow, I just bought myself a spiffy new digicam, which should make for Kyle having more fun posting again.<br /><br />Tonight, Kow went to Barber's house to decorate gingerbread houses for our Kristmas Kabaret. We'll be auctioning off the houses for the Kidney Foundation, and to make things fun, let's make it a bit of a contest on my blog, shall we?<br /><br />All you have to do is guess which member of Kow made which house, okay?<br /><br />Here are the houses.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000013.jpg"><img dragover="true" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000013.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000012.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000012.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000015.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000015.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000016.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000016.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000014.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/P1000014.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1165816176952712782006-12-10T22:15:00.000-07:002006-12-10T22:49:36.970-07:00Excuses52 hours of work per week.<br />Concerts, concerts, concerts!<br />My days and nights off go towards concert or rehearsals for concerts.<br />Zelda and all things Wii-related.<br />Writing wrestling promos.<br />Corner Gas Season 3.<br />Comic books.<br />My last day off was yesterday, where I performed in two concerts for Oran. The last day off before that? Two weeks ago Sunday, where I was out of town with Oran for a weekend-long retreat.<br /><br />These are a few of the excuses I use for not updating my blog as much as I could. Yes, they're excuses. I hate not updating if only for the simple fact that my stories get backlogged, and I don't feel up to making monster posts to explain everything that's been happening to me.<br /><br />At least, not until I get out of the Christmas Hell that is WEM during December. And maybe not even then.<br /><br />But for now? Story.<br /><br />For the past two years, my dad has had kidney problems. And I mean "dialysis thrice a week" problems. So he was on a transplant list.<br /><br />Members of our family offered to donate a kidney. My Aunt Kim tried the tests, but was rejected. Mom was next, and was in the midst of tests when I decided I'd be a live donor for Dad.<br /><br />Those of my friends I told said I was brave, but it was no biggie. It's my dad we're talking about. Although when I did some tests in July, I was unnerved to see thirteen vials awaiting my blood lined up on the counter.<br /><br />After that? Nothing. Not a peep for two months. But when Mom called to see what the deal was, I apparently was the best live donor we had. So, yeah, I took the plunge. More tests.<br /><br />But first, a phone call from the Live Donor Program from University Hospital. "Do you have life insurance? Get some. Do you have a family doctor? Get one."<br /><br />Okay, NOW I was getting scared. Although I realized that the family doc was for checkups after the fact, and they recommended I get the insurance because if I applied with only one kidney, my premiums would be huge.<br /><br />But so I booked an appointment with a doctor, and looked into insurance. Two months ago, I got a call from my sister.<br /><br />"Dad found a kidney."<br /><br />"Yeah? It wasn't mine, then."<br /><br />"No, he's going into surgery tonight." When Saskatchewan finds recently deceased kidneys, you're got a half hour to decide whether you want it or not. Dad took it, and drove to Saskatoon.<br /><br />So, the kidney transplant was successful, Dad's recovering and is able to go back to his regular diet. ("I can have butter on my popcorn again? Joy!") And I'm still with two kidneys.<br /><br />My ego was a bit disappointed, though. I couldn't be a hero if I wasn't donating to my dad. And I certainly couldn't take disability leave for two months to recuperate from surgery. And where would be my nonchalant "Yeah, I donated a kidney to my dad" to woo the ladies?<br /><br />Although I'm no longer a donor for my dad, Apocalypse Kow will be donating money from our Kristmas Kabaret this Friday to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. (Whoo! Master of segues!)<br /><br /><a dragover="true" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/7333/506/1600/36229/Kow-Kabaret-2006-poster-cop.gif"><img dragover="true" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/7333/506/320/510031/Kow-Kabaret-2006-poster-cop.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />There's the poster, designed by our own Mr. Woo. (Click to enlarge.) You might see these as you walk down Whyte Ave. this week.<br /><br />But, yeah, come one, come all! It'll be fun! And Jago's got a voice! (knocks wood)Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1163617524780019642006-11-15T11:47:00.001-07:002006-11-15T12:40:28.843-07:00Concert AnnouncementsOkay, I'm sorry for neglecting this blog yet again. In a day or two, I will actually write up two stories, the story of my stolen car and the story of my undonated kidney. But right now, as I've got to hit work soon, I'll just tell you about the concerts that Kow and Òran have coming up in the near future.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thursday, November 23:</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">VOICES FOR HOSPICES 2006</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">A BENEFIT CONCERT EVENT IN AID OF HOSPICE & PALLIATIVE CARE<br /></div><br />Both Kow and Òran will be singing at this one, a fundraiser held at the Winspear. Tickets are $25, but the money goes to a good cause. Tickets available through the Winspear.<br /><a href="http://www.pilgrimshospice.ca">http://www.pilgrimshospice.ca/</a> for the full rundown.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tuesday, November 21:</span><br /><br />Òran/Kokopelli's got their Dessert Concert, also held at the Winspear. Oran will be singing a few songs here, and it's some good stuff.<br /><br />6:00 PM, Winspear Centre Lobby (9720 102 Ave.)<br />Tickets $18 Adults, $15 Students/Seniors available through Tix on the Square 420-1757.<br />The main fundraising event of the season for Kokopelli and Òran, this promises to be a fun evening in an elegant venue as we kick start fund-raising for our summer tour to Southern Africa.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saturday, December 9:</span><br /><br />WINTERSONG<br />2:00 PM & 7:00 PM, McDougall United Church (10025 101 St.)<br />Tickets available through Tix on the Square www.tixonthesquare.com or 420-1757.<br />After a two-year hiatus from presenting our own holiday season concert, Kokopelli and Òran are excited to bring you a program of music of the season both traditional and new, with special instrumental guests from the community.<br />It's our full lineup, a bigger concert than what you'd hear at the Dessert Concert.<br /><br />And, of course,<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday, December 15:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">The Fifth Annual Apocalypse Kow Kristmas Kabaret!</span><br /><br />We found a venue (The Cosmopolitan Music Society - 8426 Gateway Blvd.), we've got a time (7:00 pm), and we've got some guests all lined up to entertain you.<br /><br />Tickets are $10 with a food bank donation ($11 without), and part of the proceeds will be going to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. Tickets available through any Kow member.<br /><br />And with that, I shower!Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1158799993044267282006-09-20T18:46:00.000-06:002006-09-20T18:53:13.060-06:00I think we both lose...Pop quiz for those of you who still tune into my blog even with horribly infrequent updates: (To you who don't have it, I really recommend some RSS reader, like <a href="http://sage.mozdev.org/install/">Sage for Firefox</a>. It saved my blog-viewing life.)<br /><br />Which one of these people is nerdier?<br /><br />The man who buys the custom license plate "NCC-1701" (which, for those of you playing at home, is the ship number of the starship Enterprise) and uses it on his car, or the guy who recognizes the significance of that license plate when driving behind him?Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1155965689193834752006-08-18T23:12:00.000-06:002006-08-19T10:57:24.813-06:00Fringe Journal 2k6: Day 1 - Revenge of Parenthetical Statements!So, Kow just finished our first performance, and man, was it a performance!<br /><br />Our first Fringe concert is always a bit of a gamble. We're nervous, ready to see what this year's festival will bring, lost a bit of our tight timing (it takes a few shows for us to get into the groove), etc. Well, I'm happy to announce that this was probably Kow's best Fringe opener!<br /><br />We had a pretty prime timeslot on the bigger, better stage (9:10 pm), and when we arrived, there was, like, eight people max sitting there waiting for us. Granted, it's the first full day of Fringe, and the sky looks like rain, so who knows what will happen? By the time we finished Fat Bottomed Girls, we had a good crowd of at least 250, so I was relieved.<br /><br />Our new songs got some good receptions. (Yes, we have new songs. No, I'm not going to tell you, because you're gonna have to COME SEE OUR SHOW to find out.) I was afraid during one or two songs when the audience was dead silent, but the applause that followed showed that we just had them in the palm of Kow's collective hand.<br /><br />So, yeah, we had a good crowd that enjoyed us to start off our Fringe 2006 experience. Now we just have to remember that 45 minutes is NOT that much time to throw as many songs in there as we wanted to. (We had to cut two songs from the set list while onstage, so people missed the awesomeness that is SuperMariopella. Lesson for the next show!)<br /><br />During this week's rehearsal on Monday, the phone rang, and I answered it in the middle of us going over a song. It was my friend Shelley, who lives here in town, but who I know from MJ through First Baptist. She asked when our show was on Friday, and I told her. She said, "Great. We'll be there. (Kow singing too loudly for me to hear the phone)'s in town, so we'll come to see you."<br /><br />Me: "Cool. See you then."<br /><br />Keep in mind that I didn't actually know who was coming along with Shelley. I thought it would be her sisters, perhaps. So it was a shock when Tanya J. came by after the show. I haven't seen her in a good five, maybe six years, since my trips back home since I started living in Edmonton permanently have consisted of MAYBE a weekend max for family stuff like weddings or deathwatches. But so for Tanya to see Kow was an awesome surprise for me, because, hell, if she could have seen any show we'd done, a good opener's a good one to see. (Just like at my brother Brade's wedding, where a good half of my extended family hasn't seen Kow perform, like, for instance, my brother himself. Also, the family he married into were first time Kowboys and Kowgirls. (That's right. I'm naming our fans that now. Just try to stop me.))<br /><br />Also, while some banter needed work, I was a huge fan of Dev's and my exchange after one hugely awesome version of At Last (Whoops. I just revealed a new song. Dammit!):<br /><br />Me: Wow. That was just so SEXY.<br />Dev: It's a good thing I'm on this side of the stage, then.<br />Me: Dude, I would totally go through three guys for that. (Laughter from the crowd.) Wait, that came out TOTALLY wrong. (Louder laughter from the crowd.)<br /><br />So, there's our first day. Hope all of our concerts over the next week are as successful. And if I haven't seen you there, I damn well better before the 28th hits!Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1155943169157543082006-08-18T16:59:00.000-06:002006-08-18T17:19:29.173-06:00Back from hiatus (dot) (dot) (dot) (question mark)Wow. What a summer it is so far. My bro got married, Dev and I won our NAPW tag titles back after a lengthy non-champ run, I'm back at WEM Lower, I saw the box-office sensation Snakes on A Plane last night, and we all know what time it is now, right? Edmonton Fringe Festival!<br /><br />But first, an open letter to the guy cruising down Whyte Avenue at 4:45 pm -<br /><br />Dude, you've gotta know that regardless of your sweet car, the summer air and you and your toned friend's girl-getting moves, I'm not going to take you seriously if your thumping car stereo is playing Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life," right? Right?<br /><br />So, this being the opening day of Fringe, I'm throwing my hat back into the blogging community. "Sure," you say. "Just like December? Or March? Or June?"<br /><br />Yes, I've burned you before, with my NAPW writing taking precedence. Maybe I'll just tend to keep my lengthy posts quick and to the point. But I'll start things off with the annual "Jago's Fringe Blog" starting with our concert tonight.<br /><br />If you haven't seen <a href="http://electric-mayhem.blogspot.com/2006/08/blatant-self-promotion-2006-style.html">Dev's</a> or <a href="http://worstninjaever.blogspot.com/2006/08/hi-yo-fringe-away.html">Canton's</a> blogs, or Astro's emails with the times of our marathon showlist this year (16 shows, at least one per day, every day!), here it is once more:<br /><br /><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday, August 18</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">9:10 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saturday, August 19</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">1:15 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">4:00 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sunday, August 20</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">2:20 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">6:40 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Monday, August 21</span> </span><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">6:35 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tuesday, August 22</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">10:15 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wednesday, August 23</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">6:40 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thursday, August 24</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">1:20 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">6:20 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday, August 25</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">12:15 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">6:15 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Saturday, August 26 </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">4:15 PM Journal Outdoor Stage </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">9:25 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sunday, August 27</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">12:05 PM TransAlta Power Stage </span></span>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1150258136633708972006-06-13T22:07:00.000-06:002006-06-14T10:43:25.723-06:00Apocalypse Kow Show!<p class="MsoBodyText"><span style="font-size:12;">Edmonton a cappella quintet Apocalypse Kow is recording their first CD, and you're invited to help them out!<br /><br />On Saturday, June 24th, at the Knox Metropolitan Church, Apocalypse Kow hosts a show that will be recorded for the purposes of making their first album.<br /><br />Apocalypse Kow has been around since 1997, when all the members met through the University of Alberta Mixed Chorus. Since then, Kow's been seen busking around Edmonton, and they’ve been featured guests in the Carnival of Shrieking Youth, participants in multiple Northern Harmony competitions (Alberta's "Battle of the A Cappella Bands"), and most notably, had their own outdoor stage show in the past three Fringe theatre festivals. Last year, Kow was honoured to be the hosts of the World Masters Games "Party in the Park," where they entertained an audience constisting of athletes from around the world.<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText"><span style="font-size:12;">Apocalypse Kow has been trying to record an album for quite a few years, now, but technical difficulties keep getting in the way. But this year, they really want to get a CD out for the fans that have been asking for one for the past eight years now. So they decided that a live CD was better than none.<br /><br />At this concert, Apocalypse Kow has asked John McMillan and Jennifer Kinghorn to participate as well. Aside from being a member of Canada’s premier nose flute ensemble, Jennifer accompanies many choir ensembles, such as Oran, the Brail Tones, Kokopelli, and Operanuova. She recently completed her diploma in Music Composition at MacEwan College, and sings with local a cappella jazz ensemble, Tapas. John McMillan is also a graduate of MacEwan’s Music Composition program, and recently returned from the University of Toronto, where he studied jazz voice. He conducts the FORM vocal jazz ensemble and is the artistic director of “Happnin,” the U of A vocal jazz ensemble. Besides directing choirs, John is in demand as a performer, conductor, composer, arranger, teacher and clinician.<span style="font-size:+0;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText"><span style="font-size:12;">The concert takes place as Knox Metropolitan Church (8307 109 St) at 7:00 pm, doors open at 6:30 pm. Tickets are $10 in advance and at the door. For more information, call Kyle or Stan at 439-5799.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1147706040519374072006-05-15T09:09:00.000-06:002006-05-15T09:14:01.783-06:00Concert Alert!This Saturday, May 20th, come see the choir that Kokopelli managed to bring in from Namibia for a month tour, Mascato!<br /><br />I've got in my hands 12 tickets, six for the 2 pm show, six for the 7 pm show. Adults go for $16, Students/Seniors are $13, and Children from 6-12 are $8.<br /><br />You'll see Mascato, which is one awesome chamber choir from Africa, along with Kokopelli and Oran.<br /><br />The show takes place at West End Christian Reform Church (10015 149 St), and tickets are pretty much sold out.<br /><br />So, if you can get a hold of me, I can get you some tickets for one sweet show!<br /><br />And now off to work.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1145431939409983762006-04-19T01:27:00.000-06:002006-04-19T01:32:19.420-06:00Is anyone doing anything next Wednesday (the 26th)? Does anyone WANT to accompany me to the Small Sins (formerly The Ladies and Gentlemen) concert at the Starlite Room?<br /><br />Because I'm going. Thom d'Arcy and friends ROCK the JOINT! (Here's <a href="http://itsjago.blogspot.com/2005/10/concert-and-wrestling-ish-news.html">the review</a> of the last time I saw them...)Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1145408154295572882006-04-18T18:50:00.000-06:002006-04-18T18:55:54.326-06:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7333/506/1600/babyrivero.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7333/506/320/babyrivero.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Also, how could I forget about this? Jordan Jose Elek Rivero was born last Monday. I'm a pseudo-uncle! Now if only I knew Astro's Photobucket address so I could link to all the baby pics!<br /><br />Congrats, Joel and Anita!Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1145405447507606432006-04-18T17:44:00.000-06:002006-04-18T18:10:47.583-06:00Odd Transformations 31... OR IS IT???So I went home for Easter. It was a very fun time. Loads of food from my parents (Friday: Steak. Saturday: Turkey. Sunday: Steak. Again. Not that I mind. Monday: Homemade hamburgers.), hanging out with Braden and his fiancee, <a href="http://napwpres.proboards2.com/index.cgi?board=ooc&action=display&thread=1145145787">silly pics taken at Mac the Moose for my e-fed friends</a>, and a trip to the set of Corner Gas.<br /><br />Now, Corner Gas isn't currently filming, but of course, the sets are all up and in some cases, <a href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1549.jpg">boarded up</a>. And a lot of <a href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1556.jpg">local</a> Rouleau <a href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1554.jpg">buildings</a> act <a href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1553.jpg">as sets</a>, so it's not like they tear THOSE down! Still, once Kow goes to Moose Jaw for Brade's wedding, I'm sure I'll take Canton and others who want to go for a proper tour, when they ARE filming.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1552.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/jagok/corner%20gas/100_1552.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Here's me at the actual, boarded up set.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When it comes to my dream, I had one on Monday morning. When I woke up, I realized that I wouldn't be able to post promptly, since my sister was sleeping in the computer room. So I used the whiteboard beside the telephone to make notes and then went back to sleep.<br /><br />Now, lots of dreams escape in that period where you just wake up, and this was no exception. Good thing I took notes! But my heart dropped when I read the notes:<br /><br /><ul>HORROR FILM</ul><br />- Demon attacking<br />- Killed by a possessed Durgrlwrw<br /><br />Yup, I was sleepy when writing, and I couldn't figure out the last word. It took me five minutes of trying to decipher it! But I remembered, sort of.<br /><br />Now, I'm not sure if I was killed by a possessed D-word, or if it was the demon. However, the word I had trouble figuring out was "Dagwood."<br /><br />Yes, something was killed by a possessed Dagwood sandwich. The one that gained fame from the Blondie comic. Yes. A monster sandwich turned, well, monstrous.<br /><br />* * *<br /><br />Otherwise, not much going on. Went to Metric last week with Dev, Marky and Dustin. Fun concert, although I'm very happy I managed to finangle earplugs from a security guard. And, as Dev said, the encore is a LITTLE long when they play Dead Disco for 18 minutes.<br /><br />Now, if only I could get a lead on Death Cab/Franz Ferdinand tickets...Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1144174130156390082006-04-04T11:01:00.000-06:002006-04-04T12:08:50.213-06:00Odd Transformations 30: Coming homeMy school's having its 75th anniversary reunion in July. Unfortunately, due to Kow singing at my brother's wedding the week afterwards, I don't think I'll be able to make it to the celebrations. Regardless of if I can go or not, my mind decided to take me there in the midst of sleep this morning.<br /><br />Kow decided to take a bus full of Peacock alum to get to Moose Jaw. When we got there, the celebration was in full swing, and the rest of Kow melted away while I went to be part of these celebrations in my old high school auditorium. There was a talent show, that I might have been a part of, I can't remember. My friend kingston did an act that got straight zeros from the audience.<br /><br />My old drama teacher LJ was the MC for the night, and he got into a fight with some teens who were tuning up for their rock band portion of the show.<br /><br />Odd dream.<br /><br />* * *<br /><br />So I had a week of vacation last week, one where I just decided to stay in town and rest. It was fun, and I've still go another week to burn before the end of April, so I'm heading to Moose Jaw for a few days over Christmas.<br /><br /><br />Inventory was last Sunday and I was at the store for 16 hours! Whee! Apparently, I wasn't there for all of the fun, like when the computer broke and lost a good chunk of stock numbers (I went in to sell Dev his shiny new MP3 toy for about an hour or so on Thursday), or when that finally got fixed, the inventory was all out of sync.<br /><br />I went back to work yesterday to find a whole bunch of things that hadn't been fixed (the sale that ended last week not taken down, old flyers in the flyer basket, etc.) and the store the temperature of a sauna. We called maintenance and they went on the roof to clear out our vents or something, because we finally had ventilation in the store in the afternoon. Other than that, it was a VERY slow day at work. Marky's taking some time off in between my two vacations, and I think he deserves it with him working his ass off. Every time we think we get to relax, there's a threat of a store visit by the new boss of the company, or inventory, of threat of a visit by the old boss. Sigh.Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1143361052640303882006-03-26T00:47:00.000-07:002006-03-28T01:38:42.276-07:00The reason I rarely hit the clubs...First off, today was the Mixed Chorus concert.<br /><br />Beforehand, Dev, MFJ, Astro and wife, Justice and wife, and I went to L'Azia's for dinner. I love L'Azia's. Such good food, and more than just the Asian fusion cuisine they're known for. I had myself an awesome steak. It was the first time in a while that we had ALl gotten together, but Justice was determined to have us hang out, to the point of setting a time every month since January, only to finally have today settled upon before we realized it was the night of the concert.<br /><br />But, hey, we're all alums of the chorus, except for Justice's wife, the Talkative One. So we decided to just go for dinner beforehand.<br /><br />The concert was decent. Nothing really stood out to me, except for one song with a harp. I enjoyed the second half more than the first, and the choir didn't really seem to be giving it all they've got. They were holding it in. And it showed. But all in all? Good.<br /><br />But tonight was ALSO the Oran pub crawl. Astro really wanted to go, and I thought it'd be fun to hit one of the places they were going to before coming back and hopefully having rest before tomorrow's inventory at the store. (We start at 8 am. When do we finish? Who the hell knows? WHEEEE!) The bad part? The location that party was at (since it was a crawl, they were at club 3 of 4 or something) the Union. Now the Union's a typical club for Edmonton: Lots of young folk, half-dressed female staff, pumping loud music. And crowded as hell.<br /><br />Astro and I get in without worrying about cover (God bless the pub crawl party reservation), and manage to locate our Oran friends. Since we were at the UAMC concert beforehand, we were also two of the best-dressed guys at that place. I'm soaking in my surroundings (such a gaudy club) and observing the friends already on the dance floor when I get kicked in the head.<br /><br />Yes. Kicked! In the head! (Snakes! On a plane!) I only realized it when my glasses were pushed halfway across my face. A guy at the bar was swinging his girlfriend around (in a very crowded bar) and her foot caught me in the temple. The guy asks if we're cool, and I shoot him a dirty look before saying that everything's fine.<br /><br />So it became my catchphrase in the bar:<br /><br />"Hey! Jago! How are you doing?"<br /><br />"I'm so hardcore, I was kicked in the face!"<br /><br />"What? When?"<br /><br />"I dunno. Five minutes ago?"<br /><br />Astro and I get some beers and travel to the dance floor in search of some of our friends. I'm pretty decent at travelling through crowds. My height really helps me locate people in a crowded room, and I'm big enough that I can cut my way through a bunch of people pretty easily and not jostle them to the point of being pissed off.<br /><br />Halfway to our group, I hear someone mutter to her friend, "Hey, can you pinch that guy's ass for me?" At which point, someone decides to take a pound of flesh from my posterior.<br /><br />To be honest, I was so intent on getting to people I knew in this place, that I completely ignored whoever decided to pinch my ass. Didn't turn around with a scowl, didn't anything. Just kept on slicing through the dance floor to get to my destination.<br /><br />So, was the pinch enough of a good thing to counteract the "kicked in the face" part? Well, I could say it was Schrodinger's Girl, and that she could have been either hot or not-so. But I'm not sure if even a very good-looking girl would be worth the fact that I could HEAR HER GIVE INSTURCTIONS to her friend, and that it wasn't exactly something that'd make me say, "Your place or mine?"<br /><br />Unless, you know, I knew them.<br /><br />It brings up another story that happened a few years ago with Canton and one very cute soprano in the Mixed Chorus:<br /><br />I forget the context of this story, but I'm pretty sure it was at least the three of us hanging around, and Canton, EB and I were shooting the bull. Somehow, the conversation turned into how much guys like getting their asses grabbed, and Canton said, "Jago doesn't like getting his ass grabbed."<br /><br />EB: Oh, really?<br /><br />Canton: Nah, watch.<br /><br />And Canton grabs my ass. Of course, I know how to play this up and I frown, furrowed brow and all.<br /><br />EB: That can't be right. Let me try.<br /><br />And she does. And I smile.<br /><br />Canton: Wow. That's never happened before.<br /><br />Canton grabs my ass, and I scowl. And repeat, Canton not figuring out that it's not so much me getting my ass grabbed that makes me angry, so much as it's when it's not being grabbed by a hot girl.<br /><br />And with that, I'm off to bed. Whoo! Inventory!Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7874929.post-1142834461923513412006-03-19T22:01:00.000-07:002006-03-20T01:06:53.506-07:00Getting back into the swing.Don't worry. This isn't going to be Jago Ranting Quarterly. I'm alive.<br /><br />So, last week, I was minding the store on a slow Friday morning. An older gentleman came in, looking for some compressed air. I showed him what we had.<br /><br />"How much is it," he asks.<br /><br />"Ten dollars," I reply.<br /><br />So when I tell him it'll be $10.70 at the till including taxes, he almost blows up at me!<br /><br />"You told me it was ten dollars!"<br /><br />"Well, yes, before taxes, sir."<br /><br />"How much is that?"<br /><br />"Seven per cent, sir. Same as always."<br /><br />"The government was supposed to lower that!"<br /><br />I wasn't going to go into how that was just a promise that the Conservatives made, and that in a minority government, it'll be hard to get that ratified, since I didn't want to get into an argument about that. So I just shrugged.<br /><br />"The government, always lying," he said. "If we were in Norway, there'd be only one way we deal with liars: The firing squad!"<br /><br />In my mind: "Um, what?"<br /><br />"It doesn't matter if he'd be the prime minister. If he lied, firing squad!"<br /><br />"Oh."<br /><br />Now, I've never been to Norway, but it's the largest slice of my heritage. (My Grandpa Dokken's family was from there.) And I'm pretty sure capital punishments by way of executions aren't really the way things work there anymore. But this gentleman was old, so who knows? All I could do was listen as he talked about firing squads for ANY offense.<br /><br />In any case, he buys the compressed air and leaves.<br /><br />Now I was opening on Saturday by myself, and managed to miss my alarm and sleep in until 9:45. The store opens at ten. So I hurriedly dressed, didn't shower, and drove as fast as I could to work. I got there to open at about 10:10. A half hour later, guess who walks in?<br /><br />"I'm here to return this air. It doesn't work."<br /><br />I figure out that the old man just didn't take off the plastic safety latch, but he already bought a new can from the Sony Store.<br /><br />"You weren't open at ten," he said. I did say that we did open late, but I didn't bring up the fact that it was my fault for sleeping in. For all I knew, there might only be one sort of punishment for tardiness in Norway: FIRING SQUAD!<br /><br />So what subject does he get into again? Yup, you guessed it. After I returned his money, he left, but not after telling me about his favourite form of recreation. (Well, no, instead, he talked about the FIRING SQUAD!)<br /><br />Sometimes, you meet the strangest people...Jagohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601616874859006251noreply@blogger.com2