12.10.2004

Neat Little Link

This website shows what the skeletons of famous cartoon characters would look like.

Pretty neat stuff.

If I could be vain for a tic...

So I got a haircut before the Kow shows.

My usual stylist wasn't in, and I got a girl who didn't know me. Melissa, my usual stylist can tell what I mean by "short on the sides and back, not so much on the top."

I didn't realize until the end of the cut just how short Jessica had cut it. It looks GOOD, mind you. Just not what I was expecting.

Then she took out a straight razor for the back of my neck. And did a very good job of hacking away the old growth back there. I made sure to give her a good tip.

So, yeah, my hair's currently the shortest it's been in about three, four years.

I have, however, noticed more women checking me out these days. After I hit Swizzlesticks, I was walking to the LRT, and some good looking coeds would smile at me.

Granted, maybe they were previously, and I just had no peripheral vision to see them doing so.

Last night on the bus after work, there were no seats left, so I was standing (as I tend to when no seats are available) in the back doorway.

I was sharing this door space with a cute girl off her work as well, I assume. Slightly Asian features, black hair. You know, the kind I go for. And every time I'd look up from my book (Fluke, by Christopher Moore. Read it!), she be looking at me with a closed-lip smile. And so I'd smile/smirk back.

Short-haired Jago gets the chicks. Why didn't I know about this earlier? (And, if you guys say that you DID tell me this earlier, I'm going to ignore you...)

* * *

One of the reasons it's taken me a week to post was partly due to preparing for the concert Kow had on Saturday.

Before the show, all of us were frazzled to our wits ends, due to people not showing up where they were supposed to, mistaken directions, us sending someone for MFJ, who had decided to take a bus instead, etc...

So, we were a little late and a little unprepared for our first set.

It wasn't bad. We sang well, and junk. It's mostly a matter of we lost the stage presence we had at Fringe, mostly due to us being shellshocked.

The ESC did a decent job yet again, even though due to the technical side being all screwed up, no one in the audience could figure out where skits started and stopped at some points.

Also, having three interrogation scenes with similar character names really threw us for a loop.

Two White Guys, jugglers, did a good set. The Wombats are also funny, if long, in their improv. D! and some ESC members were grumbling about how long they took, and how "bad" the improv was.

Sure, the improv itself wasn't great, but they had the audience entertained, which was all I, as a host, cared about.

Father Dave, as always, was a great storyteller. The singer we got wasn't so great, as she kept on trying to embellish and failed doing so.

The part that sticks with me the best was, of course, the part that hurt me the most.

The show was going a little long, and Kow was finishing up with their last set. After we left the stage, the audience cheered for an encore.

We walk back onstage, and I do my usual encore schtick, lifted from the Spinal Tap episode: "Thank you, Springton. There will be no encore."

I turn on my heel and fake walking off stage. The audience boos, the rest of Kow's watching me act pompous. I turn around at the curtain, turn on my hell to walk back to the mic, and I find myself flying in the air. Apparently, there was some dust or something on the floor, and I wiped out. Huge.

The audience laughs, I bring it up again during our Hey Ya encore. ("Okay, now Jago!" "Um, I slipped." Beat. Back into the song.)

It wasn't until the next day that I realized I must have fallen onto my left arm, since I wasn't able to support any weight with it for the next few days. I went gimpy, and it hurt like hell afterwards.

* * *

Two days ago, I went over to D!s for some virtual wrestling action, and to hang out with Morgan and Ryan. I decided to bring over a 12 pack of Sleeman's, and put it out onto the porch for a quick cool.

The next day, I went back for some Smackdown, and forgot that we had left the beer on the porch.

Now, I'll admit, I stopped taking chemistry once I graduated from high school, and we were pretty tired when I left the previous day. I forgot that, while some alcohol has a lower freezing point than water, beer isn't really one of them.

So we had six Sleesicles in various flavours. I decided to let mine thaw out by putting them in D! cavernous sink and a tubful of lukewarm water. D! decided to open his and drink around the hunk of ice. At which point, we had a beer volcano happening on his coffee table.

D! decided to wait for one of my thawed beers.

* * *

Reading: Finished up Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw by Will Ferguson, a great travelogue of Canada. In the midst of Fluke.
Listening to: My MP3 mix. Although we're forced to listen to Christmas music at work, so I'm going to have to bring down some of my non-traditional music for the store so I don't go insane.
What's Trapped in My Head: O Christmas Tree, sung by a bunch of synthesized cats and dogs. Kill me.

12.03.2004

Odd Transformations 19: When Aliens Attack Choirs!

Brief post dealing with the dream I just had. And then back to sleep.

I dreamt that Kow was having a workshop with some college jazz/show choir. It might have been in Edmonton, but we were all touring on the same bus around to other places to hold joint concerts.

There was interaction between us and the other choir, and they even had their own Erin Q. or something. I felt obliged to mention to her that there was an Erin Q. in our old choir.

We were at one school, and were sleeping on some classroom floors like choir tours of old. We never slept in the dream, but I do remember laying my stuff on the floor in order to change and prepare for workshops/concerts.

At one point, we were getting ready for a dance between the two groups. Because I remember Dev and I in a friendly competition to pick up some of the girls in the other group.

In the end, before a concert. we were attacked by large aliens, ones that would hurt you with eye beams if they looked at you and decided to strike you down. I guess the best way to describe these things would be to say "Ever seen Neon Genesis Evangelion? They were sort of like pint-sized Angels, and just as deadly." Because there was nothing scarier in my mind as me off the bus confronting one in the parking lot, only to watch as ten more descend to the ground.

It was really one of those "The choirs are doomed" thoughts racing through my dream-self's head.

Also, after one of the choir members got struck down by one of the "Angels," I found out I had the power to consume any type of matter, since I was eating the virus off her face to save her from being infected.

So the moral of the story is, I guess: If you don't want to have dreams connecting dark sci-fi anime and choir tours, don't make a dozen Yorkshire Puddings before bed.

11.29.2004

"I Will Make You Fishsticks of Men"

So for everyone who's interested in idiots in the media, here's a couple of good links:

Woman Sells 10 year Old Cheese Sandwich for $28,000.

And closer to home:

Man Says Fish Stick Looks Like Christ

The woman with the cheese sandwich? Who'd keep a grilled cheese sandwich for 10 years and then sell it on eBay? Who the HELL would BUY a cheese sandwich for $28k???

I mean, at least the guy's doing it for humour value...

* * *

Nothing too much going on with me. Working, working, working.

Got sick on Saturday and took the day off.

Buying a new (for me) video card from my friend Myles. He's buying one that should, I dunno, reach out and slap him in the face or something. And I'll be able to play games that are younger than two years old! Finally, my copy of GTA will run properly! And I'll be ready for World of Warcraft (Canton picked up a copy, and is loving it) or City of Heroes if I decide to get immersed in an online computer game.

Kow show in under a week. Come see it!

Will be involved in a Channel 101 pilot with a guy in town here. That should be fun.

* * *

Canoegirl: I finished Christopher Moore's Practical Demonkeeping. Pretty good for a first novel. Although I'm liking Coyote Blue a bit more...

Lamb's still my favourite, though...

11.21.2004

My new obsession...

Before we start off with the main point I have to make, that being how kickass Katamari Damacy is, a few small things:

On Remembrance Day, I saw two movies.

First of all, girlone, Channers and I saw Ray, the Ray Charles story.

I loved it, mostly because Jamie Foxx does a great job inhabiting the role of Ray, and also due to whenever some bit of music came on, the movie kicked into high gear. Some great musical sequences, including the (fictionalized?) origins of "What'd I Say" and "Hit the Road, Jack."

I was even singing along with "Ray's Rockhouse," even though it was only instrumental and edited. Enough so noone could hear me.

The only things I couldn't reconcile: an end scene where Jamie takes off the glasses in a dream sequence and is able to see, since it was Jamie Foxx there, not Ray Charles Robinson like the rest of the movie. The other was a concert bit where they're singing "Night Time is the Right Time," in which all I thought about was that one episode of The Cosby Show where Cliff's parents are having their anniversary and the family lip syncs the song. (You know what I'm talking about: Where Rudy is the one singing "Baybaaaaaay!!!! Baybayyyyyy!!!")

Later on that night, I saw The Incredibles with Canton. It was also very good, but in a completely different way than Ray.

While Ray moved me more due to the music, The Incredibles was also a good movie.

Unfortunately, I already wrote this once, along with a hugely long-winded rant about how cool Katamari Damacy is.

Let's just leave it at: Whenever a game makes me look around at things on my way to work and think at what I'd need on my ball to roll them up into stars for my drunken "King of the Universe" dad, you know it's a came I'm obsessed with...

Read the reviews. Play the game. For only $30, it's a must-have. I only wish Canton's PS2 wasn't broken...

* * *

While watching Angel with Dev and Canton tonight, I got a 6-pack of Pepsi with my pizza order.

I drank three cans in an hour. I'd drink one, put it on the table, and repeat.

Or so I thought. When I was getting ready to leave the couch and put my cans away, I realized that two cans weren't fully empty. In fact, one wasn't even half finished.

So, yeah. I drank half a can of Pepsi, put it on the coffee table, forgot about it, opened another can, drank from it, forgot about it, opened ANOTHER can and fully drank that one.

Time for bed for Jago.

Reading: As much Christopher Moore as possible. Seriously, for a hilarious read, pick up Lamb.

11.17.2004

Another conversation with Jay

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

I'm looking for a word.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

this word plagues me.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Bottom!

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

I know it exists, I repeatedly need it, but I can NEVER remember it when I want it.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Okay. What's the definition?

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

let's say I believe that life is precious, and that i believe Saddam Hussein deserves to die.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Okay.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

it would be difficult for me to ________ those two views.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

reconcile?

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

fucking q.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

reconcile.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

thank you.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

No probs.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

How ofter does it slip your mind?

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

And what the hell is "Fucking q?"

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

every time I have wanted to use the word reconcile for like the last 2 years.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

I can't remember it.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

It's inexplicable.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Heh.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

Inex-fucking-plicable.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

"Fucking q" is similar to "Fucking A," except your pinky slips.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

lol

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

I like "fucking q" better, methinks...

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

I liked it when I saw it, too. Which is why I didn't correct it.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Excellent.

Gauntlet - Essay. Not Halo 2. says:

fucking q, my man.

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Fuckin' q, indeed...

Now, I'm not posting this conversation to make it sound like Jay's a complete dumbass.

Because I blank on words, like, ALL the time...Anyone involved in a face-to-face conversation with me for more than, say, three minutes, can vouch for that...

And then, later on that night, when he's still writing his essay, and NOT playing Halo 2, I decide to play with his freakin' MIND!

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Jason, this is the XBox calling. Take a break. It'll only be a few minutes...

Gauntlet - Essay. Red Bull. Not Halo 2. says:

xbox? is that you?

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Yes. I am wanting you to plug me in to XBox Live. There you will find a lot of people to play agains- I mean, help you with your essay...

Gauntlet - Essay. Red Bull. Not Halo 2. says:

but... it doesn't sound like you, Xbox. I'm so tired...

Jago - Go See "Ray"! NOW! says:

Nonsense! Is not the colour of XBox green?

Gauntlet - Essay. Red Bull. Not Halo 2. says:

no, there are FOUR LIGHTS!

11.14.2004

It's been a while...

First off, my Christmas wish list, which I know my parents have been waiting for.

DVDs

Mr. Show, Vol. 1
Spider-Man 2
The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection
Hard Knocks - The Chris Benoit Story
The Rise and Fall of ECW
Space Ghost: Coast to Coast
Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story
WWE Backlash (mostly for getting the PPV I attended on DVD. See if we made it on somehow...)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Invader Zim

Books

Mr. Show: What Happened? - Naomi Odenkirk
Sock - Penn Jillette
Ultimate Spider-Man Graphic Novels (from the beginning)
Tintin/Asterix books

Games

Prince of Persia 2 (GC)
Metroid Prime Echoes (GC)
X-Men Legends (GC)
Def Jam: Fight for NY (GC)
City of Heroes (PC)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (GC)
Scotland Yard (Board)
Carcassone/Settlers of Cattan (Board)

CDs

Jakalope - It Dreams
U2 -– How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Ray - The Soundtrack
Early Cake CDs (I’'ve only got Pressure Chief)

Miscellaneous
The Spider-Man 2 poster featuring Doc Ock from behind. (You know, the cool one...) Preferably big.

Pipe Dream
The Minolta Maxxum 7D, a 6 Megapixel digital SLR. At $2100, it's a big gift, and it can use all my old lenses. Let's face it: The only way this is happening is if everyone I know pitched in to get it for me. But it's lust-worthy for sure...

Otherwise, I'm not too picky.

Also, I know this might sound harsh, but I'd prefer it if Mom and Dad didn't read this journal anymore.

Dad, I know you accidentally found it, but there is some stuff on this journal that is me just venting. And I feel I can't properly vent these days if my parents are in the room.

Sorry. But you guys asked me to tell you if I felt this way. And I do. And I can still give you the news, I just don't want you to see it profanity-laden if I'm angry.

* * *

Has it really been two weeks since I last posted? Yipes.

Although I know the reason why:

If I'm shirking off my novel writing (only done 3500 words) and trying to find things to occupy my time, writing in my journal doesn't seem fair.

"Okay, I'll let Pirate Academy slide because I don't feel like writing. Now I will type for hours on my journal." Nah, doesn't work that way...

Here's what's been happening in my life:

At work, my store had been upgraded to an A-level store. Which means we're on the same level, product-wise, as Kingsway.

When I was on my sick days, the big boss from Ontario came in. The president of the company.

He saw how it was, and wasn't impressed. Apparently, our district manager decided to give us a different set of goals to focus on, which left Chris looking incompetent when Ean came in.

On the plus side, it was horribly busy, to the point where my old manager (and current regional Manager for the West) Mitch was ringing in tickets.

Ean took a look at the madness, went outside, flipped open his cell phone, and called head office.

"It's Ean. Edmonton Centre is now an A volume store. Get on it. They also need a third cash pod. Give them everything they need to get in shape before Christmas."

Like that, we got new staff, and our orders are getting bigger.

* * *

The Third Annual Apocalypse Kow Kristmas Kabaret is on.

Saturday, December 4 at the Stanley Milner Library Theatre. Doors open at 7:30, show starts at 8.

Tickets will be sold at the door for $10 with an item of food for the Food Bank.

Guests this year include the Edmonton Sketch Conspiracy, The Wombats, Jason Morris, and more.

This cabaret is to support Astro, who's going to run in the Rome Marathon in March to raise money for diabetes. So proceeds will go to the Canadian Diabetes Association.

Kow hopes to see a lot of you there...

* * *

Also, congrats go out to my boy Justice, who got engaged to his girlfriend Helen recently.

Yes, J, we've definitely got to hang out in the upcoming weeks. And I expect an invite to your July wedding.

And when the hell did you get saved? Give me more than the occasional six month e-mail, guy...