My least favourite opening line

You know it's going to be a bad customer when the first words out of their mouth is "It hasn't worked from day one."

This, loosely translated, means, "Look, I know this is way over the 30 day return period, but I'm not going to leave until you make me happy." Problem is, there's a reason we have a thirty day return period. Anything that's hanging around your place for over a month probably isn't that sellable. Which is why people ALWAYS bring up the "this never worked, and that's why I'm bringing it back six months after purchase." God, I'd love to be able to say, "Look, if it never worked from day one, why didn't you bring it in on day two? Or day seven? Or day twenty?" Because day one-hundred and forty-one? No refund. That fucking thing's going out to repair.

Luckily, since this DVD player wasn't bought at MY store, I was able to pass the buck to the other store in the mall, where they originally bought it, and let THAT manager try to make them happy.

The other problem customer I had today bought a Sony camera from my downtown store. Currently, our promotion gives away an SD memory card free with a camera purchase. On specific SD-capable cameras. So why did downtown give away a card for a camera that can't use it? Dumbasses.

Customer: This card doesn't fit.

Me: Oh, okay.

My mind: Who the fuck sold this to you? One of my co-workers? I'll kill them for being such idiots.

Me: Did you buy this from my store?

Customer: No, I bought it from downtown.

Me: Ah.

My mind: Figures.

Customer: So, can we swap this card for one that fits?

I explain to him that downtown shouldn't have sold him that SD card, since the deal is specifically for cameras that aren't Sony. As such, if I sell him a new card, he's going to have to pay for it. He's fine with paying the difference, which is why I try to explain to him that when he got the card for free, there's no difference to pay. It's the full amount.

Customer: But I see you carry these cards for twenty dollars.

Me: Yes, but since you got that card for free, that is, you didn't pay anything for it, in the event of an exchange, it's a zero dollar item. You'd pay $40 for the MemoryStick that works in your camera.

Customer: But if the card costs twenty dollars, I'd only pay twenty more, right?

Me: No, you're not listening to me. Since you got the card for free, a new card would not be forty minus twenty, it would be forty minus zero.

Customer: So why should I bother returning the card?

Me: Good question.

My mind: Because downtown's a bunch of fuck ups?

* * *

Hey, look who's posting again! Now, I actually had a legit reason for not posting in the past three months, and that's because my power supply in the Compaq died. And have you ever tried getting a proprietary part for a six-year-old machine?

No, I just replaced the bugger. Nice new system, too. Dual core processor, 2 gigs of memory, 320 gigs of hard drive space, and a spiffy case that's got enough fans to generate electricity for the block. It's going to be pretty hard to ruin this power supply...

Yes, I had limited access while I was without a computer, but seriously, I was using that time to write promos for Kyle Roberts. The guy needs wins.

But I'm back now, and I'm-a gonna hit the sack for a bit of a nap. Expect more posts. Not crazy overcompensating posting, but enough to keep the people who read me somewhat happy. Or, at least, happier than they were when I disappeared for three months.