An Open Letter to That Jackass On 170 St.

Hi, remember me? That guy driving in front of you that you decided to honk at seven times to try to make me drive faster?

What the hell's your deal, idiot? If I'm driving the speed limit, there's no freakin' reason that you should try to rush me on the Whitemud onramp. Fifty's fine considering we're just getting out of winter weather, and everything's strating to thaw out but isn't quite done dry yet.

Ever take science in high school, braintrust? Negative Celsius temperatures make for icy roads./ Trust me on this, I almost skidded out on the Fox Drive cloverleaf the night before. So for you to be honking at me in these conditions aren't going to do shit to make me go any faster.

Geez, you're still doing it? What kind of loser are you? Have you noticed I'm driving a Ford Escort? You are aware they're wimpy cars, right? A small engine, no acceleration? What makes you think I'm going to boot it right out of the gate? Eighty's the limit on the freeway, not the onramp. What the hell kind of idiot are you? Sure, keep on honking. I'm still accelerating at my Escort speed, not your penis enhancement. That's right. Ride my bumper. I'd have given you the finger, but I'm pretty sure you'd take it the right way.

Oh, hey, passing me's an option, isn't it? Too bad the other cars are going the exact same speed as me. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?

Bite me.

Sincerely, Jago

* * *

Seriously? December 16th? Wow. I mean, I know that Christmas was insane for me, but I had a week vacation where I could have been posting and everything. Oh, right. E-wrestling.

I don't want whatever readers that still have hope that I post promptly to feel bad about this, but remember how this blog was a good way for me to keep my writing chops honed? Well, I've got the NAPW for that now. Because I'm usually posting a good two or three times a week, with more writing thrown in for good measure. I'm not closing down this blog, because, hey, it's still a good way to vent. And I understand how you want more content from me. Like how are my concerts doing? Well, they're good. I enjoy them immensely. How's Kow doing? If we're getting gigs every month and going to places like Millet to perform, I'm thinking we're on the path to more success, so that's good. Vidoe Games Live? That was awesome. Thanks for asking. How's the job? The job is the job. Annoyances everywhere, to the point where I'm afraid they'd just get repetitive story-wise.

How's the e-wrestling? Super-fun with the new direction my wrestler, Kyle Roberts, took. He turned on Bruce Richards, Devin's wrestler, for a singles career, and man it's fun being an absolute jerk. The New and Improved D-X is dead, but we had a hell of a ride. Five time tag champs. Other trophies from other feds. D-X hardly did wrong, but it was time to change it up a bit, and this new storyline has certainly done that.

How's the love life? NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!

It's cool, just hang out here, relax, and let's cross our fingers that I return soon.

1 comment:

Justice~! said...

I have to tell you that this mix of "I'm an angry bitter shell of a man", "Let me tell you more about E-wrestling" and "here's some of my music videos" is probably one of the more unique posts in a long time. I felt like I was watching a Chinese film! Rock on!