Melodramatic Office Theatre

A conversation with MFJ from a while back. As always, I am in green...

Jenna says:
brb faxing (again)
Transferred... says:
Always with the faxing!
Transferred... says:
Maybe you should MARRY the fax machine...
Jenna says:
lol Leave me alone, *SOB!*
Transferred... says:
I'm sorry! I just always see you...and it..
Transferred... says:
And I'm afraid I'm being left out of the equation!
Transferred... says:
So...I'm giving you an ultimatum.
Transferred... says:
Me! Or your PRECIOUS fax machine...
Transferred... says:
And before you make that decision, let me say this:
Jenna says:
lol
Transferred... says:
I can do anything that fax machine can do.
Transferred... says:
I can hook up a phone cord into me and digitally send a picture anywhere in the world.
Transferred... says:
But the fax machine has me beat in one respect.
Transferred... says:
It can love you a lot more than I ever could...
Jenna says:
WHAT???!!!
Jenna says:
And why is that exactly???!!!
Transferred... says:
You see, my dear. That fax machine is a cyborg. It has a human heart.
Transferred... says:
Granted, I'm a cyborg, too, but my heart is made of silly putty and transistors.
Jenna says:
*gasp*
Jenna says:
[In shock. Not sure what to say...]
Transferred... says:
I think is was Thoreau who said, "Hath not a man a soul, so he can love?"
Transferred... says:
I have no soul. Therefore, I cannot love.
Transferred... says:
So, that fax machine IS the better choice. Go on, and marry IT. While I will cry like there's no tomorrow over having lost you...
Jenna says:
LOL!!!
Jenna says:
I love you, Jago!
Transferred... says:
But the fax can love you back!
Jenna says:
No. *sniff* No, it can't! It's not the saaame!!! [wails]
Transferred... says:
No, my dear. It's for the best this way. Leave me with my non-existent soul and my silly putty pseudo-heart...
Jenna says:
[sobs] If that's the way it HAS to be...
Jenna says:
I will try to resign myself to this pining...
Transferred... says:
And I will go off, always thinking about you, and the times we had, and wishing, someday that I could have a soul...
Transferred... says:
And although I want to RIP! the heart out of that accursed machine, and shove it in my endoskeleton, I know that it wouldn't be right....
Jenna says:
But...but it would! And we could run away together! Far from this accursed place!
Transferred... says:
You're doing it again, aren't you? You're feeding paper into the machine, and sending it across the airwaves?
Transferred... says:
AREN'T YOU?
Jenna says:
Um, well...yes...
Transferred... says:
Fine! I know that must be done.
Jenna says:
But I swear it means NOTHING to me. Nothing!
Transferred... says:
[storms over to the fax, tears out the toner cartridge]
Transferred... says:
THERE!
Jenna says:
[Faints]
Transferred... says:
[Camera shot from above: Jago looks towards the heavens, with an unconscious Jen at his feet...]
Transferred... says:
Nooooooo!!!!!!
Jenna says:
[wistful violins starting softly, then swelling to a crescendo as the camera, looking down on the scene, zooms up beyond the clouds...]
Transferred... says:
My hands are black, tainted with the soul of this fax machine! Why! WHY, GODDAMN YOU!!!?!?!
Transferred... says:
[Fade to black]
Transferred... says:
Narrator VO: And there ends another story from Office Theatre.
Transferred... says:
Melodramatic Office Theatre, maybe...
Jenna says:
LOL!!!
Jenna says:
Oh, my God. I've never had quite so much fun on Messenger before.
Transferred... says:
Pshaw...You just have to be in the right mood...
Transferred... says:
Although I thought you might have picked up on the fact that, by feeling jealousy and sorry, I would HAVE to have a soul...
Transferred... says:
Ah, well...
Transferred... says:
Yup. This was one for the transcripts all right...