So, three days into Fringe. I must admit, my playwatching wasn't quite all there for the first two days, with me just hanging out at home (or, as I've taken to calling it, "Fringe Central") with our assorted billets/friends/crashers, and performing.
But yesterday, that changed! But first, our concerts:
I told you about Friday's show. We enjoyed ourselves, it was probably the best opening show we've done in our three years as Fringe Outdoor Stagers, and we found out which song not to sing.
On Saturday, we had a late afternoon show on the bigger stage. Once again, it was a beautiful, if very hot, day, and we had a decent crowd.
This year, unbeknownst to us until Randy from the Wombats told us, there's been the chance for indoor productions to "host" the outdoor shows. On a first-come, first-serve basis, actors from productions would be able to introduce the upcoming act as well as plug their own shows. Not cool for us, since why would actors bother to check the board to see who's actually performing? The guys who were hosting before us were killing the crowd, but managed to get our names right because I told them our names as they went on stage.
Another a cappella group performing at the Fringe that we MIGHT have a rivalry with? They didn't get off so easily. The host's comments once he went on stage before our show:
"In a few minutes, Apocalypse Kow will be hitting the stage. They're an a cappella group, just like Hoju."
Cue me laughing my ass off offstage.
Go to Canton's journal for another pretty funny story of how some cast members from Eating Raoul die fifteen slow, painful deaths while doing their hosting duties.
The most memorable moment of Saturday's concert was the three-year-old blond moppet who wandered up to me during our set. I bent low to get to his level, so I could talk to him properly. I had the mic at my side, but didn't quite know it was as live as it was.
Me: Hi, how are you?
Moppet: Good. Can you sing "You Are my Sunshine?"
Me: (murmuring) I'm sorry. We don't know that song.
Unfortunately, the mic picked up the entire exchange, and since I was saying this sotto voice, it sounded a lot harsher than I had intended it. The crowd boos. Dev, sensing unrest if we brush off a toddler, says, "Let's sing it!"
So we take a note, and start improv-ing some harmonies for a verse of "You Are my Sunshine." And it sounded good. To the point that some people completely thought this was set up.
Because, yes, we'd completely rig it so I'm apparently brusque to a three-year-old.
* * *
Canton, his friend Em and I went to see the Wombats' first show that day. While Paul and Randy were saying give them a few days to warm up, they were pretty much spot on for their show. Rarely a missed note during the entire show (and I'm not saying this musically, since it's them juggling and joking around. And seriously, their finale is hilarious.
* * *
Yesterday, we had two shows, and Canton had a performance of his OTHER play in between.
Some of my family was able to see our first show, since my parents are in town for Dad's kidney dialysis. My sister and a friend of hers came up from Calgary, my aunt and uncle were there, and some family friends I haven't seen in the longest while.
Of course, the show was peppered with a whole bunch of Moose Jaw and Mr. Jago ribbing. I was also given a wireless mic, so I was having fun being able to run around the stage.
During our version of D!'s "Johnny Cash" (which the audience LOVES, by the way), I was asking the audience to sing along, with the threat, "If I hear anyone not singing, I'll have my dad kick your butts. He knows everyone in Moose Jaw, you know."
I think that was probably one of our better shows, although I was a little aggressive in the hat plug, to the point of being negative. Our banter was pretty decent:
Barber: Just so you know, our next show's at 7:40 pm on the same stage. It'll be a completely different set.
Me: We changed one song.
Astro: No, Jago. We changed one member. You're fired.
At which point you can hear my dad's belly laugh from the second row.
It was my sister's first time seeing Kow perform. I think she enjoyed herself.
* * *
I went to see Canton's first show of No Entry. It was a very well-written show, and all the actors have great performances.
It's the story of a guy who can see a ghost in the week before his wedding. Apparently, this means he's slated to die soon, and he's the only person who can see the 80s' fashion-wearing girl.
The characters were funny as hell, especially Andrew Mecready's comedy-loving Death, and Ryan Hughes's paranoid pee-hoarding boss.
I'll enjoy seeing it again with Kow, and am looking forward to heckling Death this time around.
* * *
In the evening, my old friend Heath came down with his girlfriend, Pam, to see our second show of the day.
This one was still a decent show, as we did have a lot of people staying around to the end, although Barrett's Privateers almost went down in flames, once after I forgot my verse, and a portion where Barber forgot to come in, so the five of us were staring at each other, clapping to keep the momentum.
Then an audience member gave us the next line and we were back on track.
There was this annoying ten-year-old girl with no social skills who interrupted our concert once to ask what was the deal with the sound booth. We managed that fine, but when I went to get a drink during a song I don't sing, she followed me and kept on asking me questions like "What are you guys doing?"
Me: "We're performing. We're singing on stage right now."
Girl: "Do you let others sing with you?"
Me: "Sorry. We sing by ourselves for the audience. It would kill the show if we let other people on stage to sing. Hoja lets some people onstage to sing with them, though, (Yes, it's true, Astro and I saw it happen earlier.) But Kow's our own act."
Apparently, she went up to Devin after the show and asked if the tech would let her sing with the mics. Dev was saying "I'm pretty sure that's not allowed."
Of course, this morning's when I thought of a good line to let her down easy with, telling her that we paid $450 for the use of the stage and microphones, and there isn't a place on the stages for people who haven't signed up for them.
I wonder how this girl's busking circle will do.
* * *
After our evening show, Heath, Pam and I went to see Hip-Hop 4 Dummeez. My god, was this an awesome show. I never was able to see the previous play these guys did (Job: The Hip-Hop Musical), but this one was a VERY funny look at the elements of Hip-Hop culture, including how to force rhymes, what sorts of slang are used, and how different elements come together to create songs.
One of my favourite moments was when they did a rap at the end of their first act that incorporated every lesson they had taught the audience in the first half-hour.
Jacob Sable was a treat in this one. His "Bushman" character was a cross between Ray Charles and Flava Flav. Every time he wasn't talking in his almost-falsetto, he had this manic grin on his face. Such a great character.
If Canton goes to see this one, I might ask him to bring me back a CD of the performance.
* * *
Well, off to shower before we meet with the Wombats to discuss strategy for our upcoming show today...
8.19.2005
Fringe Journal 2k5, Part I (or, "What part of 'I'm on vacation' do you dickheads not understand?")
So, it's Fringe time again, and at the end of the first day, I've done two concerts. First of all, let me fill you in on what happened at work in the past week, shall we?
* * *
Due to stupid scheduling, my vacation at Fringe coincides directly with the Source by Circuit City's annual manager's convention. As such, when I'm performing, Mark's in Ontario for three days.
This leaves us with Chelsea and Jordon as the only two staff members over the days that Mark's out of province and I'm ON VACATION. But no store can spare any staff, since, SURPRISE! Every manager's in Ontario.
Against my better judgement, I decided to go in for a few hours on two days next week. But they're NOT being counted as vacation; if they are, people will die.
Yesterday, I did a 12 hour shift, and man, was it a day. It was busy, and I was in the "day before vacation starts" mode. I told Jordon when he came in, "I don't want to do anything. I WILL do what needs to be done, but don't be surprised if my morale hits the deep end later on tonight."
I left early, at 8 pm. Jordon had things under control, I gave him my keys, everything's cool.
Today was the first day of vacation I've had since...last year's Labour Day, I guess, when I hit Moose Jaw for Mrs. M's wedding. It was about fucking time. I was ready to sleep in, hit the print shop to check the proofs on Kow's new business cards, and perform twice. Until I was awakened by Canton knocking on my door.
"Jago, phone's for you."
I pick up the extension in Canton's room, and answers somewhat sleepily.
"Hey, Kyle. It's Chelsea."
"Hey, what's up? What needs to be done? I'm ON VACATION. (boldface mine, since I'm not yelling. Yet.)"
"Well, Mark's not at work."
"WHAT?" I yell. "He's working a twelve hour shift today! Where is he?"
"He called me up at 1 am last night, said he was chosen to be an extra on a movie shooting in town, gave me the keys to open, and said he would be in the store around supper time."
Chelsea's still VERY uncomfortable being in the store by herself, since she's not familiar with a lot of procedures like activating cell phones, or selling satellite.
Me: "Have you called any other store to see if we could get someone?"
Chelsea: "I called up Jordon, but I only got his machine. When I talked to Kingsway, Jeff told me to ask Ron at Southgate. But he was being pretty rude to me."
I sigh, tell her I'll call around, and hang up.
So I call Jeff, and tell him the story. He tells me to try Ron and see if he's got anyone he can lend for a few hours.
I call up Southgate and get one of the flunkies. When I ask him who's working today, he rattles off about three people per shift.
Me: "Can I steal someone for a few hours, so Chelsea can function properly?"
Flunky: "I'd call around to closer stores, like West Ed."
So I do. Lambert just got off vacation himself, and needs all his staff. Deryk had a fashion show in his part of the mall, was expecting a large amount of customers, and had an order to count.
I call Jeff again.
"Talk to Ron. Don lives in Westmount, so maybe he could come in for a few hours."
I call Southgate again, and ask to speak to Ron.
"Ron, I was talking to Jeff, and I REALLY need someone to come in and help my store for a bit. Nothing like a shift, but if I could get Don for a few hours to help out Chelsea, I'd be really grateful."
"No, I can't spare anyone."
"Please, Ron. Mark's away, and I'm on vacation."
"Can't you come in?"
"Ron, what part of 'on vacation' did you miss? I perform two concerts today."
"You can come in before one of them. When are they?"
"Ron, I'm already coming in on two shifts during MY VACATION. I don't see why I should be at the beck and call of my store because my manager fucked up and is being a jackass. BECAUSE I'M ON VACATION."
"When are your concerts?"
"I don't see how this makes a difference. I'm rehearsing at 1 pm for one of them, but I really need to do some errands this morning. It's my vacation after all. The first one I've had in eleven and a half months."
"You can work before 1 pm, then."
I slam the phone on the hook. And promptly dial Mark's cell. The message kicks in.
"Hi, Mark. It's Kyle. I'm going into work today. Thanks." SLAM!
I drive into work in my street clothes, because there's NO fucking way I'm dressing up for a shift I shouldn't even have. And I stay there until 12:30. I try calling Jordon. I call Mark's cell again.
"Mark, I wasn't aware that you told people that you were sick. I might have let slip that you're actually being an extra on the day you're supposed to work twelve hours. To Jeff and Ron. And Lambert. My bad. Whoops. Sorry."
Chelsea was telling me how Jennifer (Capilano's manager) was saying that Mark screwed up bad. Which is odd, since I didn't call Jen at all. (Note to self: Call up Capilano tomorrow. Bitch out Jen and tell her what happens at my store is none of her fucking business.)
Other than that, good day. Let me just tell you one more work story before continuing on...
* * *
A few days back, it was Jordon and I working. (Saturday? Sounds right.) It was crazy busy in the store, and Jordon might have been doing a cell phone sale, so I was picking up the slack. The phone rings.
"The Source by Circuit City. Kyle speaking."
A man with a high voice is on the phone, asking about a phone he bought a few years back. I'm being polite enough, but I'm very terse, as I've got four customers waiting in line, and I'm really in no mood to talk with someone who's taking their sweet time to ask a question.
After about six minutes, and a lot of mouthing, "I'm sorry" to the guy who's next in line, I say, "Sir, I'm sorry, but there's a lineup here. If you have any questions about new phones, you can come down to the store and we can talk in person."
"You keep on calling me sir, when, obviously, I'm a lady. What to you have to say to that?"
"Pardon?" My heart sinks in my stomach.
"Do I sound like a man? Am I confusing you here?"
"Well, actually, ma'am, I have heard a lot of older men with higher voices. You do have a pretty low voice for a lady. I'm sorry if I offended you."
"I don't have a penis. I am on the phone with you and I'm not a man. What do you have to say to that?"
"Sorry, ma'am." I hang up.
* * *
Speaking of gender-bending, on my way out of the store today on my non-shift, I saw one of two things. (I'm not sure which is the correct view here.)
I either saw: a) a 6'2" guy with breasts, or (b) a 6'2" woman with a beard.
I'm talking Alan Moore beard here, people, not a few dark whiskers.
I think I was triple-taking at this person who had passed me and had SOME sort of perfume on. Scary.
* * *
So, first day of Fringe! First of all, we had our first "Kowbats" show today, which was the joint Wombat/three-fifths of Kow show that we're putting on three times this week.
It was fun improv-ing with Randy and Paul, and the crowd of fifty or so seemed to enjoy it. Dev and I were talking with the young parents of a family who was there from Calgary, who had come in for a day of events. They had the day of shows all planned out, and Kow was on there twice! So they were kind of bummed out that they weren't able to see us perform with the family of five. But they were going to see our evening show, if they were able to get Three Dead Trolls tickets quickly enough.
Canton's been full-blown sick the past few days, but seemed to be in fair enough spirits tonight after last night's run for orange juice and Fisherman's Friends. We were joking about it all day, saying that Canton would be fun doped up on couch medicine.
Canton: "Hello, little girl! Your head's a FISH!"
It became the running joke of the day.
At 9:45, we had our first full-blown Kow concert. I was winded after running home for the "bitchpipe," as we've taken to calling our, yes, pitch pipe. So I wasn't properly in tune until about three songs in.
Since it was a stunningly beautiful day today, after the week of rain we've been having, there was a HUGE crowd for the show before ours. We had a respectable audience, but unfortunately, it didn't translate into a lot of people putting money in our hats. Also, as Kow discussed in our post-mortem, we're killing the Gulf War Song from our Fringe sets.
As much as we loved it, the song KILLED the audience. Some people left, and one of the recurring pieces of feedback we received was "What was that one song in the middle? I'm not sure if I didn't get it, or just didn't like it, or what."
I think that's an all-time record. The song we killed after singing it once. I'm sure we'll find an audience for it somewhere, but we're not taking any more chances this week.
To people who come to an outdoor show, there are some simple rules of protocol I'd like to go over. Funnily enough, a LOT of them have to do with drinking:
1. Don't get stoned in front of an open stage. While I'm sure it's fun for you, the fifteen families I saw in the crowd weren't so cool with it. If there's a three-year-old sitting at the front of the stage, please, smoke your pot somewhere else.
2. No matter how drunk you are, the back of the stage is not a place you want to be on when we're performing. Sure, it's open and you can see us from the side. There are plenty of other shortcuts in the area, and the stage we're standing on is not one of them.
2a. Dancing is also not something to do on the stage we're standing on. Even if you are very drunk.
3. Don't drink at an open stage. The reasons for this are explained in rule one, and everyone knows it isn't iced tea you've got in that Coke bottle.
4. It's cool to sing along with us. Unless you're stoned and drunk and disrupting those of us who are doing it for real. Then it's not so cool.
5. Talking on the cell phone might SEEM like a good idea, but if you're drunk and stoned and was previously singing loudly with us and sitting in the third row, we can hear your conversation. Even if you turn around and face the other way. While this is an open stage and, as such, is a crapload noisier than an indoor stage, the performers will want to kick your ass if they see you doing it. I know I did.
6. When the show is over, and we come around with our hats for donations, do not pretend to not see us, to the point of shading your eyes, and looking away. Especially if your friend if reaching for their wallet and complimenting us right beside you. Just because we don't charge admission doesn't mean we want you to have a free show at our expense. If you like the show, show your support, or even say, "You know what? I just spent all my money of pot and Jack Daniels, and I don't have enough money to show my gratitude for you not kicking my ass in front of two hundred people." Even if you do have enough money, if you don't want to give us any of it, that's fine. Just don't treat us like you treat panhandlers on Whyte Ave.
After our evening show tonight, Chelsea came up to me after the show. So I had to ask, "What time did Mark come in? Or did he?"
"Jordon came in at five, when I finally got a hold of him. I didn't see Mark, although he called the store and asked, 'What happened?' He's in a lot of trouble, isn't he?"
"OH, yeah..."
* * *
In other news, Heath called me up and said he'd be coming down from Fringe. So I really hope he shows. That would be fun.
* * *
Due to stupid scheduling, my vacation at Fringe coincides directly with the Source by Circuit City's annual manager's convention. As such, when I'm performing, Mark's in Ontario for three days.
This leaves us with Chelsea and Jordon as the only two staff members over the days that Mark's out of province and I'm ON VACATION. But no store can spare any staff, since, SURPRISE! Every manager's in Ontario.
Against my better judgement, I decided to go in for a few hours on two days next week. But they're NOT being counted as vacation; if they are, people will die.
Yesterday, I did a 12 hour shift, and man, was it a day. It was busy, and I was in the "day before vacation starts" mode. I told Jordon when he came in, "I don't want to do anything. I WILL do what needs to be done, but don't be surprised if my morale hits the deep end later on tonight."
I left early, at 8 pm. Jordon had things under control, I gave him my keys, everything's cool.
Today was the first day of vacation I've had since...last year's Labour Day, I guess, when I hit Moose Jaw for Mrs. M's wedding. It was about fucking time. I was ready to sleep in, hit the print shop to check the proofs on Kow's new business cards, and perform twice. Until I was awakened by Canton knocking on my door.
"Jago, phone's for you."
I pick up the extension in Canton's room, and answers somewhat sleepily.
"Hey, Kyle. It's Chelsea."
"Hey, what's up? What needs to be done? I'm ON VACATION. (boldface mine, since I'm not yelling. Yet.)"
"Well, Mark's not at work."
"WHAT?" I yell. "He's working a twelve hour shift today! Where is he?"
"He called me up at 1 am last night, said he was chosen to be an extra on a movie shooting in town, gave me the keys to open, and said he would be in the store around supper time."
Chelsea's still VERY uncomfortable being in the store by herself, since she's not familiar with a lot of procedures like activating cell phones, or selling satellite.
Me: "Have you called any other store to see if we could get someone?"
Chelsea: "I called up Jordon, but I only got his machine. When I talked to Kingsway, Jeff told me to ask Ron at Southgate. But he was being pretty rude to me."
I sigh, tell her I'll call around, and hang up.
So I call Jeff, and tell him the story. He tells me to try Ron and see if he's got anyone he can lend for a few hours.
I call up Southgate and get one of the flunkies. When I ask him who's working today, he rattles off about three people per shift.
Me: "Can I steal someone for a few hours, so Chelsea can function properly?"
Flunky: "I'd call around to closer stores, like West Ed."
So I do. Lambert just got off vacation himself, and needs all his staff. Deryk had a fashion show in his part of the mall, was expecting a large amount of customers, and had an order to count.
I call Jeff again.
"Talk to Ron. Don lives in Westmount, so maybe he could come in for a few hours."
I call Southgate again, and ask to speak to Ron.
"Ron, I was talking to Jeff, and I REALLY need someone to come in and help my store for a bit. Nothing like a shift, but if I could get Don for a few hours to help out Chelsea, I'd be really grateful."
"No, I can't spare anyone."
"Please, Ron. Mark's away, and I'm on vacation."
"Can't you come in?"
"Ron, what part of 'on vacation' did you miss? I perform two concerts today."
"You can come in before one of them. When are they?"
"Ron, I'm already coming in on two shifts during MY VACATION. I don't see why I should be at the beck and call of my store because my manager fucked up and is being a jackass. BECAUSE I'M ON VACATION."
"When are your concerts?"
"I don't see how this makes a difference. I'm rehearsing at 1 pm for one of them, but I really need to do some errands this morning. It's my vacation after all. The first one I've had in eleven and a half months."
"You can work before 1 pm, then."
I slam the phone on the hook. And promptly dial Mark's cell. The message kicks in.
"Hi, Mark. It's Kyle. I'm going into work today. Thanks." SLAM!
I drive into work in my street clothes, because there's NO fucking way I'm dressing up for a shift I shouldn't even have. And I stay there until 12:30. I try calling Jordon. I call Mark's cell again.
"Mark, I wasn't aware that you told people that you were sick. I might have let slip that you're actually being an extra on the day you're supposed to work twelve hours. To Jeff and Ron. And Lambert. My bad. Whoops. Sorry."
Chelsea was telling me how Jennifer (Capilano's manager) was saying that Mark screwed up bad. Which is odd, since I didn't call Jen at all. (Note to self: Call up Capilano tomorrow. Bitch out Jen and tell her what happens at my store is none of her fucking business.)
Other than that, good day. Let me just tell you one more work story before continuing on...
* * *
A few days back, it was Jordon and I working. (Saturday? Sounds right.) It was crazy busy in the store, and Jordon might have been doing a cell phone sale, so I was picking up the slack. The phone rings.
"The Source by Circuit City. Kyle speaking."
A man with a high voice is on the phone, asking about a phone he bought a few years back. I'm being polite enough, but I'm very terse, as I've got four customers waiting in line, and I'm really in no mood to talk with someone who's taking their sweet time to ask a question.
After about six minutes, and a lot of mouthing, "I'm sorry" to the guy who's next in line, I say, "Sir, I'm sorry, but there's a lineup here. If you have any questions about new phones, you can come down to the store and we can talk in person."
"You keep on calling me sir, when, obviously, I'm a lady. What to you have to say to that?"
"Pardon?" My heart sinks in my stomach.
"Do I sound like a man? Am I confusing you here?"
"Well, actually, ma'am, I have heard a lot of older men with higher voices. You do have a pretty low voice for a lady. I'm sorry if I offended you."
"I don't have a penis. I am on the phone with you and I'm not a man. What do you have to say to that?"
"Sorry, ma'am." I hang up.
* * *
Speaking of gender-bending, on my way out of the store today on my non-shift, I saw one of two things. (I'm not sure which is the correct view here.)
I either saw: a) a 6'2" guy with breasts, or (b) a 6'2" woman with a beard.
I'm talking Alan Moore beard here, people, not a few dark whiskers.
I think I was triple-taking at this person who had passed me and had SOME sort of perfume on. Scary.
* * *
So, first day of Fringe! First of all, we had our first "Kowbats" show today, which was the joint Wombat/three-fifths of Kow show that we're putting on three times this week.
It was fun improv-ing with Randy and Paul, and the crowd of fifty or so seemed to enjoy it. Dev and I were talking with the young parents of a family who was there from Calgary, who had come in for a day of events. They had the day of shows all planned out, and Kow was on there twice! So they were kind of bummed out that they weren't able to see us perform with the family of five. But they were going to see our evening show, if they were able to get Three Dead Trolls tickets quickly enough.
Canton's been full-blown sick the past few days, but seemed to be in fair enough spirits tonight after last night's run for orange juice and Fisherman's Friends. We were joking about it all day, saying that Canton would be fun doped up on couch medicine.
Canton: "Hello, little girl! Your head's a FISH!"
It became the running joke of the day.
At 9:45, we had our first full-blown Kow concert. I was winded after running home for the "bitchpipe," as we've taken to calling our, yes, pitch pipe. So I wasn't properly in tune until about three songs in.
Since it was a stunningly beautiful day today, after the week of rain we've been having, there was a HUGE crowd for the show before ours. We had a respectable audience, but unfortunately, it didn't translate into a lot of people putting money in our hats. Also, as Kow discussed in our post-mortem, we're killing the Gulf War Song from our Fringe sets.
As much as we loved it, the song KILLED the audience. Some people left, and one of the recurring pieces of feedback we received was "What was that one song in the middle? I'm not sure if I didn't get it, or just didn't like it, or what."
I think that's an all-time record. The song we killed after singing it once. I'm sure we'll find an audience for it somewhere, but we're not taking any more chances this week.
To people who come to an outdoor show, there are some simple rules of protocol I'd like to go over. Funnily enough, a LOT of them have to do with drinking:
1. Don't get stoned in front of an open stage. While I'm sure it's fun for you, the fifteen families I saw in the crowd weren't so cool with it. If there's a three-year-old sitting at the front of the stage, please, smoke your pot somewhere else.
2. No matter how drunk you are, the back of the stage is not a place you want to be on when we're performing. Sure, it's open and you can see us from the side. There are plenty of other shortcuts in the area, and the stage we're standing on is not one of them.
2a. Dancing is also not something to do on the stage we're standing on. Even if you are very drunk.
3. Don't drink at an open stage. The reasons for this are explained in rule one, and everyone knows it isn't iced tea you've got in that Coke bottle.
4. It's cool to sing along with us. Unless you're stoned and drunk and disrupting those of us who are doing it for real. Then it's not so cool.
5. Talking on the cell phone might SEEM like a good idea, but if you're drunk and stoned and was previously singing loudly with us and sitting in the third row, we can hear your conversation. Even if you turn around and face the other way. While this is an open stage and, as such, is a crapload noisier than an indoor stage, the performers will want to kick your ass if they see you doing it. I know I did.
6. When the show is over, and we come around with our hats for donations, do not pretend to not see us, to the point of shading your eyes, and looking away. Especially if your friend if reaching for their wallet and complimenting us right beside you. Just because we don't charge admission doesn't mean we want you to have a free show at our expense. If you like the show, show your support, or even say, "You know what? I just spent all my money of pot and Jack Daniels, and I don't have enough money to show my gratitude for you not kicking my ass in front of two hundred people." Even if you do have enough money, if you don't want to give us any of it, that's fine. Just don't treat us like you treat panhandlers on Whyte Ave.
After our evening show tonight, Chelsea came up to me after the show. So I had to ask, "What time did Mark come in? Or did he?"
"Jordon came in at five, when I finally got a hold of him. I didn't see Mark, although he called the store and asked, 'What happened?' He's in a lot of trouble, isn't he?"
"OH, yeah..."
* * *
In other news, Heath called me up and said he'd be coming down from Fringe. So I really hope he shows. That would be fun.
8.13.2005
Odd Transformations 29: Vigilante crimefighting!
For the past few days, or maybe even just one long stretch of last night that SEEMED like a few days, I've been having a recurring dream.
I've been part of this huge plot of thieves, where I overheard something and have been going around looking for clues on how to stop or solve this crime of robbery on a HUGE scale.
Problem was, I've been followed by a pair of plainclothes detectives because I keep on trespassing/breaking into places to get evidence.
I'm not sure if I was an author (I kept on writing my investigations in prose form, which would somehow get to the detectives each day), but I'd be trying to avoid these guys, only to have them appear at the places I'm casing for evidence. (Mostly schools.)
So they'd keep trying to arrest me and stop me from investigating an obviously innocent woman (played by Carol Burnett, I'm pretty sure), because when it came to the word of a socially powerful woman against a guy who kept on breaking into everywhere for clues, I was the untrustworthy one.
It all have down to a head at a local school's benefit, I'm pretty sure. It one point, I was in a school gym, trying to evade these two detectives, the next, I was under a table at this banquet with the two cops, eavesdropping on this entire table's guilt in the matter, as well as seeing a whole bunch of fifty and hundred dollar bills fluttering underneath to where I was.
So while the details are a little vague, as they always tend to be, it looks like I was in the middle of my own Fletch novel/movie: Using disguised identities to gather information, being chased by cops, trying to keep one step ahead of both Carol Burnett and her crew AND the detectives, and writing it all down for the detectives to keep on my trail.
* * *
Kow's Fringe schedules are up. Hope to see some of you at our performances.
Also, I'm planning on going to Pavlov improv tonight to perform. It'll be a long-form improvised play, and Dev hopes to hit the stage for the first time since Survival broke up.
$5 admission, at Jekyll and Hyde Pub (one block south of the Jasper Ave Boston Pizza: 10610 100 Ave) at 11 pm tonight (Saturday, August 13th). Hope to see a bunch of people there as well.
I've been part of this huge plot of thieves, where I overheard something and have been going around looking for clues on how to stop or solve this crime of robbery on a HUGE scale.
Problem was, I've been followed by a pair of plainclothes detectives because I keep on trespassing/breaking into places to get evidence.
I'm not sure if I was an author (I kept on writing my investigations in prose form, which would somehow get to the detectives each day), but I'd be trying to avoid these guys, only to have them appear at the places I'm casing for evidence. (Mostly schools.)
So they'd keep trying to arrest me and stop me from investigating an obviously innocent woman (played by Carol Burnett, I'm pretty sure), because when it came to the word of a socially powerful woman against a guy who kept on breaking into everywhere for clues, I was the untrustworthy one.
It all have down to a head at a local school's benefit, I'm pretty sure. It one point, I was in a school gym, trying to evade these two detectives, the next, I was under a table at this banquet with the two cops, eavesdropping on this entire table's guilt in the matter, as well as seeing a whole bunch of fifty and hundred dollar bills fluttering underneath to where I was.
So while the details are a little vague, as they always tend to be, it looks like I was in the middle of my own Fletch novel/movie: Using disguised identities to gather information, being chased by cops, trying to keep one step ahead of both Carol Burnett and her crew AND the detectives, and writing it all down for the detectives to keep on my trail.
* * *
Kow's Fringe schedules are up. Hope to see some of you at our performances.
Also, I'm planning on going to Pavlov improv tonight to perform. It'll be a long-form improvised play, and Dev hopes to hit the stage for the first time since Survival broke up.
$5 admission, at Jekyll and Hyde Pub (one block south of the Jasper Ave Boston Pizza: 10610 100 Ave) at 11 pm tonight (Saturday, August 13th). Hope to see a bunch of people there as well.
8.07.2005
Odd Transformations 28: The televised reunion
I don't think any of my recent dreams have had this much backstory.
A few years ago, I guess I starred in a reality TV show. It was a moderate success, since a lot of us went back to our old lives afterwards, but the reunion that was being prepared for us was making quite a splash in the entertainment industry. It was going to be BIG!
First of all, I was invited to a fancy dinner. Outside the convention centre where the dinner was taking place, I ran into my first friend who was a part of the reality show along with me, a nice enough guy who went on to become an RCMP officer, since he was wearing his uniform. We caught up outside the centre, and when the bus that was going to take the cast out somewhere else was leaving, he told me to go with him in his car.
The second phase of the reunion was getting us into a pool. I was all for this, and used the alcove of this meeting room to change down to my swim trunks. I remember I was wearing two pairs of socks for some reason.
In a room adjoining the alcove, where was some sort of preparation going on. It was a bunch of people from a high school in Ardrossan.
"Oh, Ardrossan!" I said. "Is there a girl named Kerry there?"
They call for Kerry, who turns out to be not my cousin, but a lather large girl who really intimidates me.
"Oh hell," I mutter. "Did I say Ardrossan? My cousin Kerry was in Wetaskiwin. My mistake."
I tried to go to the pool with my reality show co-stars, but this huge Kerry said, "Look at your hands! They're smaller than mine!"
So she forcibly grabbed my hand and showed how small it was to hers. I gulped. Then she insisted we compare feet. Mine were bigger than hers (whose feet AREN'T mine bigger than?), and I was able to get off the hook after a girl from the show came in to wonder where I was.
In this room we went into was the reunion party. It seemed to be a mix of people from a lot of my paths in life along with people that don't exist in the non-dream world. (That is to say, when I saw them, I completely remembered them from points in my life that never happened, but my dream-self had context.)
I saw Shauna (my first crush from high school), Debates, some people from Lister. One bigger German guy who I'm pretty sure was gay came up to me and embraced me, saying how much he missed me. Shauna made some sort of remark, which made me mock-glare at her, pointing at her and miming "I'll kill you!" This made people laugh, especially when I'd look back at the gay German adoringly, only to glare again at Shauna, still miming threats.
The part at which I woke up finished with a surprise cameo from Canton, who looked to be about forty, until I realized that he had dyed his hair grey and given himself stage makeup wrinkles for effect.
"You looked a lot younger, Canton, when I last saw you...THIS AFTERNOON!"
* * *
Last night, Canton, Dev and I went to play some Deadlands RPG, a very dark magic-infested Wild West setting.
My character, Barney Bailum (Think on that. You'll figure it out...) is a snake oil salesman, a man famous for the fast talk, and even more famous for his sheer greed. Canton plays my twelve-year-old son, Petey.
We were in a town where some friends of ours ran into some demons who blew up some churches and blamed them for it. So this session was all about getting our reputation back and foiling some baddies.
Dev and I made this plan up where we'd have an outdoor church service, since the main church was now uninhabitable. Dev, who's character is an Anglican priest, and I would bring all the townsfolk together so we can see which one is possessed by the demon, and we can exorcise it and maintain our good name.
Dev's mentor was an old bishop that you just didn't want to mess with. And when it came time for our service, where we had a donation offering to build a new church, the bishop had warned me specifically that all the money went to the church.
Dev started off by bringing the mayor up on stage, who had the demon on his back. He started off by hoodwinking the mayor into giving a lot of money to rebuild the church. I was acting as the deacon, and when six hundred dollars was placed into my hat, Dev said, "You've made this town very happy, mayor."
I decided my character would be stuck to his promise to the bishop, and could only watch, horrified, as people put loads of money into his hat that he could not touch. Barney started bawling. "Yes, Mayor, you've made the church (sob sob) very happy." Single tears ran down my cheeks.
The room was laughing its collective ass off, to the sight of the greediest man in our game having no choice but to not touch the over fourteen hundred dollars in his hat, and still playing the part of the deacon to Dev's minister.
"Boo hoo! I'm so, so HAPPY. Boo hoo hoo hooo..."
A few years ago, I guess I starred in a reality TV show. It was a moderate success, since a lot of us went back to our old lives afterwards, but the reunion that was being prepared for us was making quite a splash in the entertainment industry. It was going to be BIG!
First of all, I was invited to a fancy dinner. Outside the convention centre where the dinner was taking place, I ran into my first friend who was a part of the reality show along with me, a nice enough guy who went on to become an RCMP officer, since he was wearing his uniform. We caught up outside the centre, and when the bus that was going to take the cast out somewhere else was leaving, he told me to go with him in his car.
The second phase of the reunion was getting us into a pool. I was all for this, and used the alcove of this meeting room to change down to my swim trunks. I remember I was wearing two pairs of socks for some reason.
In a room adjoining the alcove, where was some sort of preparation going on. It was a bunch of people from a high school in Ardrossan.
"Oh, Ardrossan!" I said. "Is there a girl named Kerry there?"
They call for Kerry, who turns out to be not my cousin, but a lather large girl who really intimidates me.
"Oh hell," I mutter. "Did I say Ardrossan? My cousin Kerry was in Wetaskiwin. My mistake."
I tried to go to the pool with my reality show co-stars, but this huge Kerry said, "Look at your hands! They're smaller than mine!"
So she forcibly grabbed my hand and showed how small it was to hers. I gulped. Then she insisted we compare feet. Mine were bigger than hers (whose feet AREN'T mine bigger than?), and I was able to get off the hook after a girl from the show came in to wonder where I was.
In this room we went into was the reunion party. It seemed to be a mix of people from a lot of my paths in life along with people that don't exist in the non-dream world. (That is to say, when I saw them, I completely remembered them from points in my life that never happened, but my dream-self had context.)
I saw Shauna (my first crush from high school), Debates, some people from Lister. One bigger German guy who I'm pretty sure was gay came up to me and embraced me, saying how much he missed me. Shauna made some sort of remark, which made me mock-glare at her, pointing at her and miming "I'll kill you!" This made people laugh, especially when I'd look back at the gay German adoringly, only to glare again at Shauna, still miming threats.
The part at which I woke up finished with a surprise cameo from Canton, who looked to be about forty, until I realized that he had dyed his hair grey and given himself stage makeup wrinkles for effect.
"You looked a lot younger, Canton, when I last saw you...THIS AFTERNOON!"
* * *
Last night, Canton, Dev and I went to play some Deadlands RPG, a very dark magic-infested Wild West setting.
My character, Barney Bailum (Think on that. You'll figure it out...) is a snake oil salesman, a man famous for the fast talk, and even more famous for his sheer greed. Canton plays my twelve-year-old son, Petey.
We were in a town where some friends of ours ran into some demons who blew up some churches and blamed them for it. So this session was all about getting our reputation back and foiling some baddies.
Dev and I made this plan up where we'd have an outdoor church service, since the main church was now uninhabitable. Dev, who's character is an Anglican priest, and I would bring all the townsfolk together so we can see which one is possessed by the demon, and we can exorcise it and maintain our good name.
Dev's mentor was an old bishop that you just didn't want to mess with. And when it came time for our service, where we had a donation offering to build a new church, the bishop had warned me specifically that all the money went to the church.
Dev started off by bringing the mayor up on stage, who had the demon on his back. He started off by hoodwinking the mayor into giving a lot of money to rebuild the church. I was acting as the deacon, and when six hundred dollars was placed into my hat, Dev said, "You've made this town very happy, mayor."
I decided my character would be stuck to his promise to the bishop, and could only watch, horrified, as people put loads of money into his hat that he could not touch. Barney started bawling. "Yes, Mayor, you've made the church (sob sob) very happy." Single tears ran down my cheeks.
The room was laughing its collective ass off, to the sight of the greediest man in our game having no choice but to not touch the over fourteen hundred dollars in his hat, and still playing the part of the deacon to Dev's minister.
"Boo hoo! I'm so, so HAPPY. Boo hoo hoo hooo..."
8.04.2005
Well, I think I've neglected this enough, don't you?
Yeah, almost two weeks without an update isn't cool.
And as much as I'd love to blame it on work and whatnot, it's not entirely due to that.
Although I did lose a day off due to remerchandising the store according to the new Source by Circuit City plans. While I lost a day, Mark had to work three 12 hour days in a row to get the store to the halfway-complete stage it is now. So I'm not horribly bad off.
It's just another reason I don't want to jump up to the ranks of tSbCC Manager. While the money's a bit greener, the workload isn't. At least I get overtime for my AM overages.
And our store's looking good. Damn well better, after all the work we've been putting into it.
So, where were we?
* Kow did the Party in the Park for the World Masters Games at the end of July. While other people have written quite thorough posts about it, I'd just like to say even with all the shit we had to put through that night due to lack of organization, I still enjoyed myself a lot.
And, hey. Free beer. And I'll be the first to admit I started LONG before Dev's second act startup. As soon as it was put on the Ryder truck, I was the first to grab one.
* Kow also applied for this year's Northern Harmony. Fifth (sixth?) time's the charm. We got our application in, and I'm sure we'll be a shoe-in for it once again. Hell, we're NoHarm ironmen, all things considered.
And if we get the same kind of publicity we garnered last year due to it? All the better.
* Dev, Canton and I dove into 24, Season 3, on DVD recently. Because we're bitches, we crack wise during some parts of any show we watch.
In the first ep, someone mentioned they had only hours to find a terrorist's bio-weapon.
Me: (pretending to be a character) "TWENTY FOUR hours, actually!"
Dev: "And that's REAL TIME!"
Me: "Hey, baby, did I mention you're one TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX?"
Dev boos. Canton throws pillows.
We finished the first two discs. The first third is complete.
* Nathan Fillion, Edmonton-born Hollywood actor (you might remember him from this, this, this, or maybe even this), ripped on our juggernaut comics store, Warp One. Too much has been said on this, so I'll just let you see the whole story (and a sheer crapload of speculation and insults) from various sources.
I'll just say that while this is pretty typical (from stories from friends and acquaintances) from the way that Mr. Minty treats people, and that Warp One's pricing can be high, I'm still willing to pay the price they offer their comics for.
Also, since the shop's only two blocks away from my house, I tend to frequent it. Although there IS Wizard's on 109th, and I've heard good things about Happy Harbor on 124th and Jasper.
For the meantime, nothing's changing with my buying habits at Warp.
*And now, a story from work:
Let it be said, that while it can be a pretty assholish thing to say, nothing gives me more joy at the Source by Circuit City than kicking kids out of my store. Once, after a particularly bad day, it was shocking that throwing some truants out didn't actually improve my mood.
Usually it does.
A few days ago, there were two ten- or twelve-year olds (max) screwing around with the electric guitar. Figuring that the fifteen minutes they spent in my store was MORE than enough, I approached them with my usual "polite" story (so I actually sound like I have a reason, instead of being a complete prick).
Me: Hey, guys. Where are your parents?
Kid: (not even looking at me) At home.
Me: Oh. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't let kids in my store without their parents. If your parents aren't around, then you'll have to leave.
Kid: We're not kids.
Me: Oh? Well, you can leave now, regardless of if you're kids or not.
And I kicked them out. And of course, that's where my wit started, and I was thinking of all those things I should have said to make me sound like I'm Oscar Wilde on my blog here.
Like, "If you're younger than me, you're a kid. (Turn to my manager, Mark) Sorry, man, that means you, too." Or, "If you're not a kid, then can I see your driver's license, please?"
Stuff like that. As it was, that was a definite "my mood got a lot better" occasion.
Nothing much else happening. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm halfway through, and am certain I will finish it before the weekend.
* Oh, I loved the new "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," which I saw with a few of my friends. Having only seen the Gene Wilder '70s version once, I didn't have childhood nostalgia ruining this Tim Burton version.
It's a lot truer to the book, and I loved everything about this one. At times, pictures from the book seemed to have inspired certain scenes and shots. And I teared up when Charlie shared his birthday chocolate bar with his family, and everyone would nibble it slightly to keep the bar longer.
It's no real secret that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was one of my absolute favourite books when I was growing up. I must have read that one about fifty times, along with the Great Glass Elevator.
So this movie hit me on all the right notes.
* I've been playing a lot of Warcraft recently, now that Morg and Marauder have started playing. Fun stuff.
* I'm looking forward to my vacation coming up just in time for Fringe. Kow shows, seeing a lot of theatre, improv stuff, and seeing old friends is a good way to spend a week and a bit. And also not working. Wheee!
So that's about all for now. I'll be speeding up my updates now. Won't get as distracted. Must post and not procrastinate!
And as much as I'd love to blame it on work and whatnot, it's not entirely due to that.
Although I did lose a day off due to remerchandising the store according to the new Source by Circuit City plans. While I lost a day, Mark had to work three 12 hour days in a row to get the store to the halfway-complete stage it is now. So I'm not horribly bad off.
It's just another reason I don't want to jump up to the ranks of tSbCC Manager. While the money's a bit greener, the workload isn't. At least I get overtime for my AM overages.
And our store's looking good. Damn well better, after all the work we've been putting into it.
So, where were we?
* Kow did the Party in the Park for the World Masters Games at the end of July. While other people have written quite thorough posts about it, I'd just like to say even with all the shit we had to put through that night due to lack of organization, I still enjoyed myself a lot.
And, hey. Free beer. And I'll be the first to admit I started LONG before Dev's second act startup. As soon as it was put on the Ryder truck, I was the first to grab one.
* Kow also applied for this year's Northern Harmony. Fifth (sixth?) time's the charm. We got our application in, and I'm sure we'll be a shoe-in for it once again. Hell, we're NoHarm ironmen, all things considered.
And if we get the same kind of publicity we garnered last year due to it? All the better.
* Dev, Canton and I dove into 24, Season 3, on DVD recently. Because we're bitches, we crack wise during some parts of any show we watch.
In the first ep, someone mentioned they had only hours to find a terrorist's bio-weapon.
Me: (pretending to be a character) "TWENTY FOUR hours, actually!"
Dev: "And that's REAL TIME!"
Me: "Hey, baby, did I mention you're one TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX?"
Dev boos. Canton throws pillows.
We finished the first two discs. The first third is complete.
* Nathan Fillion, Edmonton-born Hollywood actor (you might remember him from this, this, this, or maybe even this), ripped on our juggernaut comics store, Warp One. Too much has been said on this, so I'll just let you see the whole story (and a sheer crapload of speculation and insults) from various sources.
I'll just say that while this is pretty typical (from stories from friends and acquaintances) from the way that Mr. Minty treats people, and that Warp One's pricing can be high, I'm still willing to pay the price they offer their comics for.
Also, since the shop's only two blocks away from my house, I tend to frequent it. Although there IS Wizard's on 109th, and I've heard good things about Happy Harbor on 124th and Jasper.
For the meantime, nothing's changing with my buying habits at Warp.
*And now, a story from work:
Let it be said, that while it can be a pretty assholish thing to say, nothing gives me more joy at the Source by Circuit City than kicking kids out of my store. Once, after a particularly bad day, it was shocking that throwing some truants out didn't actually improve my mood.
Usually it does.
A few days ago, there were two ten- or twelve-year olds (max) screwing around with the electric guitar. Figuring that the fifteen minutes they spent in my store was MORE than enough, I approached them with my usual "polite" story (so I actually sound like I have a reason, instead of being a complete prick).
Me: Hey, guys. Where are your parents?
Kid: (not even looking at me) At home.
Me: Oh. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't let kids in my store without their parents. If your parents aren't around, then you'll have to leave.
Kid: We're not kids.
Me: Oh? Well, you can leave now, regardless of if you're kids or not.
And I kicked them out. And of course, that's where my wit started, and I was thinking of all those things I should have said to make me sound like I'm Oscar Wilde on my blog here.
Like, "If you're younger than me, you're a kid. (Turn to my manager, Mark) Sorry, man, that means you, too." Or, "If you're not a kid, then can I see your driver's license, please?"
Stuff like that. As it was, that was a definite "my mood got a lot better" occasion.
Nothing much else happening. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm halfway through, and am certain I will finish it before the weekend.
* Oh, I loved the new "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," which I saw with a few of my friends. Having only seen the Gene Wilder '70s version once, I didn't have childhood nostalgia ruining this Tim Burton version.
It's a lot truer to the book, and I loved everything about this one. At times, pictures from the book seemed to have inspired certain scenes and shots. And I teared up when Charlie shared his birthday chocolate bar with his family, and everyone would nibble it slightly to keep the bar longer.
It's no real secret that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was one of my absolute favourite books when I was growing up. I must have read that one about fifty times, along with the Great Glass Elevator.
So this movie hit me on all the right notes.
* I've been playing a lot of Warcraft recently, now that Morg and Marauder have started playing. Fun stuff.
* I'm looking forward to my vacation coming up just in time for Fringe. Kow shows, seeing a lot of theatre, improv stuff, and seeing old friends is a good way to spend a week and a bit. And also not working. Wheee!
So that's about all for now. I'll be speeding up my updates now. Won't get as distracted. Must post and not procrastinate!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
