Um, hi. How the hell did you get in the store? We're closed. We have been since six.
Yes, we're closed. What, you think that the two inches that the door is open means that we're ready and willing to serve you? Having a closed door isn't enough a deterrent for you? Seriously, are all you WEM patrons that fucking stupid where a closed door simply means open it and walk right in to the furrowed glares of employees? No, I could care less. My frown and repeated statement "We're closed!" doesn't faze you? Seriously, are you that retarded? What, the first three times I shouted it don't clue you in?
Why are you approaching the counter? After all that, you're still expecting me to help? It's an hour past when the store closed! Why the hell would I help you? I could care less about your cell phone not working to call overseas. PayGos don't DO that! So it's MY fault you don't understand how a calling card works? Please, I just want to go home. I've been here since 8 am. That's right, the tills are closed. I'm trying to get home. So's my manager. You're leaving? Thank you.
No! We're closed! Don't shove your head in the door, and ask! I told you three times! Yes, we open at ten tomorrow. Yes, those sales will still be on tomorrow. But not tonight. I'm not going to ring anything in for you, and I'm CERTAINLY not going to help you out of the goodness of my heart. Dude, even if you came in earlier, I still wouldn't want to help you. I stopped wanting to help people today before we opened the store. Because I'm still trying to remember my happy Christmas day off yesterday. No, "we're closed" does not mean, "ask me one question." Fuck. Fine. What's your fucking question?
No, you're kidding me. Asking me "How fast do these cars go" is not one question. Why not? Because that stack of cars includes fifteen different models. It's seven o'clock, I'm not going to answer that. Come in when we're actually fucking open. No. We closed an hour ago. Now, just leave, will you?
Fuck! Why the fuck are you in the store? No, the only reason the door was open a foot was because this lamenuts opened the door. I'm not helping him, why the fuck should I help you? We. Are. Closed. No. I will not ring up one item for you. Leave. Tell you what, if you're so stupid to think a closed door is a good invitation, let's shove this computer cart in front of it. Why the hell are you going around my barricade? The fuck? What the fuck are all you shitheads thinking?
Sincerely,
Jago
12.22.2006
Burnt out
So my store is making record sales this year. L doesn't think we've ever done $30k in sales in one day before and this month, we've done it twice.
So that's good.
Unfortunately, we're doing it while being at least two people understaffed.
That's bad.
I'm pulling more than 52 hours a week at the store. One day off a week. And the other days? Well, there's at least one twelve-hour shift in there. Today I left the store at 11 pm.
I almost had a breakdown while closing tonight. And I'm not exaggerating here. I was counting the $11,000 in cash we made, and my thumb started becoming numb at the hundredth twenty-dollar bill. And I started chuckling because my thumb was cramping up from counting past one hundred bills. It was too funny, and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down crying because I'm so fucking burnt out now, it's pathetic.
My family will be hitting Calgary after Christmas. So there'll be a belated Christmas for the Dokken side of the family, and the first time I'll be able to see Dad since he got his new kidney. And I'm not sure if I'll be able to go after all. Because I don't think I'll be able to get the two days off I'd like. I don't think I'll be able to get two days off period. And one day to drive to Calgary, visit the family, exchange gifts and drive back the same day? No fucking way.
I need to sleep. Or try to keep my mind off of it by playing some sweet, sweet Zelda. Just needed to rant.
So that's good.
Unfortunately, we're doing it while being at least two people understaffed.
That's bad.
I'm pulling more than 52 hours a week at the store. One day off a week. And the other days? Well, there's at least one twelve-hour shift in there. Today I left the store at 11 pm.
I almost had a breakdown while closing tonight. And I'm not exaggerating here. I was counting the $11,000 in cash we made, and my thumb started becoming numb at the hundredth twenty-dollar bill. And I started chuckling because my thumb was cramping up from counting past one hundred bills. It was too funny, and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down crying because I'm so fucking burnt out now, it's pathetic.
My family will be hitting Calgary after Christmas. So there'll be a belated Christmas for the Dokken side of the family, and the first time I'll be able to see Dad since he got his new kidney. And I'm not sure if I'll be able to go after all. Because I don't think I'll be able to get the two days off I'd like. I don't think I'll be able to get two days off period. And one day to drive to Calgary, visit the family, exchange gifts and drive back the same day? No fucking way.
I need to sleep. Or try to keep my mind off of it by playing some sweet, sweet Zelda. Just needed to rant.
12.14.2006
This Is A Test
Now, I just bought myself a spiffy new digicam, which should make for Kyle having more fun posting again.
Tonight, Kow went to Barber's house to decorate gingerbread houses for our Kristmas Kabaret. We'll be auctioning off the houses for the Kidney Foundation, and to make things fun, let's make it a bit of a contest on my blog, shall we?
All you have to do is guess which member of Kow made which house, okay?
Here are the houses.
Tonight, Kow went to Barber's house to decorate gingerbread houses for our Kristmas Kabaret. We'll be auctioning off the houses for the Kidney Foundation, and to make things fun, let's make it a bit of a contest on my blog, shall we?
All you have to do is guess which member of Kow made which house, okay?
Here are the houses.
12.10.2006
Excuses
52 hours of work per week.
Concerts, concerts, concerts!
My days and nights off go towards concert or rehearsals for concerts.
Zelda and all things Wii-related.
Writing wrestling promos.
Corner Gas Season 3.
Comic books.
My last day off was yesterday, where I performed in two concerts for Oran. The last day off before that? Two weeks ago Sunday, where I was out of town with Oran for a weekend-long retreat.
These are a few of the excuses I use for not updating my blog as much as I could. Yes, they're excuses. I hate not updating if only for the simple fact that my stories get backlogged, and I don't feel up to making monster posts to explain everything that's been happening to me.
At least, not until I get out of the Christmas Hell that is WEM during December. And maybe not even then.
But for now? Story.
For the past two years, my dad has had kidney problems. And I mean "dialysis thrice a week" problems. So he was on a transplant list.
Members of our family offered to donate a kidney. My Aunt Kim tried the tests, but was rejected. Mom was next, and was in the midst of tests when I decided I'd be a live donor for Dad.
Those of my friends I told said I was brave, but it was no biggie. It's my dad we're talking about. Although when I did some tests in July, I was unnerved to see thirteen vials awaiting my blood lined up on the counter.
After that? Nothing. Not a peep for two months. But when Mom called to see what the deal was, I apparently was the best live donor we had. So, yeah, I took the plunge. More tests.
But first, a phone call from the Live Donor Program from University Hospital. "Do you have life insurance? Get some. Do you have a family doctor? Get one."
Okay, NOW I was getting scared. Although I realized that the family doc was for checkups after the fact, and they recommended I get the insurance because if I applied with only one kidney, my premiums would be huge.
But so I booked an appointment with a doctor, and looked into insurance. Two months ago, I got a call from my sister.
"Dad found a kidney."
"Yeah? It wasn't mine, then."
"No, he's going into surgery tonight." When Saskatchewan finds recently deceased kidneys, you're got a half hour to decide whether you want it or not. Dad took it, and drove to Saskatoon.
So, the kidney transplant was successful, Dad's recovering and is able to go back to his regular diet. ("I can have butter on my popcorn again? Joy!") And I'm still with two kidneys.
My ego was a bit disappointed, though. I couldn't be a hero if I wasn't donating to my dad. And I certainly couldn't take disability leave for two months to recuperate from surgery. And where would be my nonchalant "Yeah, I donated a kidney to my dad" to woo the ladies?
Although I'm no longer a donor for my dad, Apocalypse Kow will be donating money from our Kristmas Kabaret this Friday to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. (Whoo! Master of segues!)
There's the poster, designed by our own Mr. Woo. (Click to enlarge.) You might see these as you walk down Whyte Ave. this week.
But, yeah, come one, come all! It'll be fun! And Jago's got a voice! (knocks wood)
Concerts, concerts, concerts!
My days and nights off go towards concert or rehearsals for concerts.
Zelda and all things Wii-related.
Writing wrestling promos.
Corner Gas Season 3.
Comic books.
My last day off was yesterday, where I performed in two concerts for Oran. The last day off before that? Two weeks ago Sunday, where I was out of town with Oran for a weekend-long retreat.
These are a few of the excuses I use for not updating my blog as much as I could. Yes, they're excuses. I hate not updating if only for the simple fact that my stories get backlogged, and I don't feel up to making monster posts to explain everything that's been happening to me.
At least, not until I get out of the Christmas Hell that is WEM during December. And maybe not even then.
But for now? Story.
For the past two years, my dad has had kidney problems. And I mean "dialysis thrice a week" problems. So he was on a transplant list.
Members of our family offered to donate a kidney. My Aunt Kim tried the tests, but was rejected. Mom was next, and was in the midst of tests when I decided I'd be a live donor for Dad.
Those of my friends I told said I was brave, but it was no biggie. It's my dad we're talking about. Although when I did some tests in July, I was unnerved to see thirteen vials awaiting my blood lined up on the counter.
After that? Nothing. Not a peep for two months. But when Mom called to see what the deal was, I apparently was the best live donor we had. So, yeah, I took the plunge. More tests.
But first, a phone call from the Live Donor Program from University Hospital. "Do you have life insurance? Get some. Do you have a family doctor? Get one."
Okay, NOW I was getting scared. Although I realized that the family doc was for checkups after the fact, and they recommended I get the insurance because if I applied with only one kidney, my premiums would be huge.
But so I booked an appointment with a doctor, and looked into insurance. Two months ago, I got a call from my sister.
"Dad found a kidney."
"Yeah? It wasn't mine, then."
"No, he's going into surgery tonight." When Saskatchewan finds recently deceased kidneys, you're got a half hour to decide whether you want it or not. Dad took it, and drove to Saskatoon.
So, the kidney transplant was successful, Dad's recovering and is able to go back to his regular diet. ("I can have butter on my popcorn again? Joy!") And I'm still with two kidneys.
My ego was a bit disappointed, though. I couldn't be a hero if I wasn't donating to my dad. And I certainly couldn't take disability leave for two months to recuperate from surgery. And where would be my nonchalant "Yeah, I donated a kidney to my dad" to woo the ladies?
Although I'm no longer a donor for my dad, Apocalypse Kow will be donating money from our Kristmas Kabaret this Friday to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. (Whoo! Master of segues!)
There's the poster, designed by our own Mr. Woo. (Click to enlarge.) You might see these as you walk down Whyte Ave. this week.
But, yeah, come one, come all! It'll be fun! And Jago's got a voice! (knocks wood)
11.15.2006
Concert Announcements
Okay, I'm sorry for neglecting this blog yet again. In a day or two, I will actually write up two stories, the story of my stolen car and the story of my undonated kidney. But right now, as I've got to hit work soon, I'll just tell you about the concerts that Kow and Òran have coming up in the near future.
Thursday, November 23:
Both Kow and Òran will be singing at this one, a fundraiser held at the Winspear. Tickets are $25, but the money goes to a good cause. Tickets available through the Winspear.
http://www.pilgrimshospice.ca/ for the full rundown.
Tuesday, November 21:
Òran/Kokopelli's got their Dessert Concert, also held at the Winspear. Oran will be singing a few songs here, and it's some good stuff.
6:00 PM, Winspear Centre Lobby (9720 102 Ave.)
Tickets $18 Adults, $15 Students/Seniors available through Tix on the Square 420-1757.
The main fundraising event of the season for Kokopelli and Òran, this promises to be a fun evening in an elegant venue as we kick start fund-raising for our summer tour to Southern Africa.
Saturday, December 9:
WINTERSONG
2:00 PM & 7:00 PM, McDougall United Church (10025 101 St.)
Tickets available through Tix on the Square www.tixonthesquare.com or 420-1757.
After a two-year hiatus from presenting our own holiday season concert, Kokopelli and Òran are excited to bring you a program of music of the season both traditional and new, with special instrumental guests from the community.
It's our full lineup, a bigger concert than what you'd hear at the Dessert Concert.
And, of course,
Friday, December 15:
The Fifth Annual Apocalypse Kow Kristmas Kabaret!
We found a venue (The Cosmopolitan Music Society - 8426 Gateway Blvd.), we've got a time (7:00 pm), and we've got some guests all lined up to entertain you.
Tickets are $10 with a food bank donation ($11 without), and part of the proceeds will be going to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. Tickets available through any Kow member.
And with that, I shower!
Thursday, November 23:
VOICES FOR HOSPICES 2006
A BENEFIT CONCERT EVENT IN AID OF HOSPICE & PALLIATIVE CARE
Both Kow and Òran will be singing at this one, a fundraiser held at the Winspear. Tickets are $25, but the money goes to a good cause. Tickets available through the Winspear.
http://www.pilgrimshospice.ca/ for the full rundown.
Tuesday, November 21:
Òran/Kokopelli's got their Dessert Concert, also held at the Winspear. Oran will be singing a few songs here, and it's some good stuff.
6:00 PM, Winspear Centre Lobby (9720 102 Ave.)
Tickets $18 Adults, $15 Students/Seniors available through Tix on the Square 420-1757.
The main fundraising event of the season for Kokopelli and Òran, this promises to be a fun evening in an elegant venue as we kick start fund-raising for our summer tour to Southern Africa.
Saturday, December 9:
WINTERSONG
2:00 PM & 7:00 PM, McDougall United Church (10025 101 St.)
Tickets available through Tix on the Square www.tixonthesquare.com or 420-1757.
After a two-year hiatus from presenting our own holiday season concert, Kokopelli and Òran are excited to bring you a program of music of the season both traditional and new, with special instrumental guests from the community.
It's our full lineup, a bigger concert than what you'd hear at the Dessert Concert.
And, of course,
Friday, December 15:
The Fifth Annual Apocalypse Kow Kristmas Kabaret!
We found a venue (The Cosmopolitan Music Society - 8426 Gateway Blvd.), we've got a time (7:00 pm), and we've got some guests all lined up to entertain you.
Tickets are $10 with a food bank donation ($11 without), and part of the proceeds will be going to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. Tickets available through any Kow member.
And with that, I shower!
9.20.2006
I think we both lose...
Pop quiz for those of you who still tune into my blog even with horribly infrequent updates: (To you who don't have it, I really recommend some RSS reader, like Sage for Firefox. It saved my blog-viewing life.)
Which one of these people is nerdier?
The man who buys the custom license plate "NCC-1701" (which, for those of you playing at home, is the ship number of the starship Enterprise) and uses it on his car, or the guy who recognizes the significance of that license plate when driving behind him?
Which one of these people is nerdier?
The man who buys the custom license plate "NCC-1701" (which, for those of you playing at home, is the ship number of the starship Enterprise) and uses it on his car, or the guy who recognizes the significance of that license plate when driving behind him?
8.18.2006
Fringe Journal 2k6: Day 1 - Revenge of Parenthetical Statements!
So, Kow just finished our first performance, and man, was it a performance!
Our first Fringe concert is always a bit of a gamble. We're nervous, ready to see what this year's festival will bring, lost a bit of our tight timing (it takes a few shows for us to get into the groove), etc. Well, I'm happy to announce that this was probably Kow's best Fringe opener!
We had a pretty prime timeslot on the bigger, better stage (9:10 pm), and when we arrived, there was, like, eight people max sitting there waiting for us. Granted, it's the first full day of Fringe, and the sky looks like rain, so who knows what will happen? By the time we finished Fat Bottomed Girls, we had a good crowd of at least 250, so I was relieved.
Our new songs got some good receptions. (Yes, we have new songs. No, I'm not going to tell you, because you're gonna have to COME SEE OUR SHOW to find out.) I was afraid during one or two songs when the audience was dead silent, but the applause that followed showed that we just had them in the palm of Kow's collective hand.
So, yeah, we had a good crowd that enjoyed us to start off our Fringe 2006 experience. Now we just have to remember that 45 minutes is NOT that much time to throw as many songs in there as we wanted to. (We had to cut two songs from the set list while onstage, so people missed the awesomeness that is SuperMariopella. Lesson for the next show!)
During this week's rehearsal on Monday, the phone rang, and I answered it in the middle of us going over a song. It was my friend Shelley, who lives here in town, but who I know from MJ through First Baptist. She asked when our show was on Friday, and I told her. She said, "Great. We'll be there. (Kow singing too loudly for me to hear the phone)'s in town, so we'll come to see you."
Me: "Cool. See you then."
Keep in mind that I didn't actually know who was coming along with Shelley. I thought it would be her sisters, perhaps. So it was a shock when Tanya J. came by after the show. I haven't seen her in a good five, maybe six years, since my trips back home since I started living in Edmonton permanently have consisted of MAYBE a weekend max for family stuff like weddings or deathwatches. But so for Tanya to see Kow was an awesome surprise for me, because, hell, if she could have seen any show we'd done, a good opener's a good one to see. (Just like at my brother Brade's wedding, where a good half of my extended family hasn't seen Kow perform, like, for instance, my brother himself. Also, the family he married into were first time Kowboys and Kowgirls. (That's right. I'm naming our fans that now. Just try to stop me.))
Also, while some banter needed work, I was a huge fan of Dev's and my exchange after one hugely awesome version of At Last (Whoops. I just revealed a new song. Dammit!):
Me: Wow. That was just so SEXY.
Dev: It's a good thing I'm on this side of the stage, then.
Me: Dude, I would totally go through three guys for that. (Laughter from the crowd.) Wait, that came out TOTALLY wrong. (Louder laughter from the crowd.)
So, there's our first day. Hope all of our concerts over the next week are as successful. And if I haven't seen you there, I damn well better before the 28th hits!
Our first Fringe concert is always a bit of a gamble. We're nervous, ready to see what this year's festival will bring, lost a bit of our tight timing (it takes a few shows for us to get into the groove), etc. Well, I'm happy to announce that this was probably Kow's best Fringe opener!
We had a pretty prime timeslot on the bigger, better stage (9:10 pm), and when we arrived, there was, like, eight people max sitting there waiting for us. Granted, it's the first full day of Fringe, and the sky looks like rain, so who knows what will happen? By the time we finished Fat Bottomed Girls, we had a good crowd of at least 250, so I was relieved.
Our new songs got some good receptions. (Yes, we have new songs. No, I'm not going to tell you, because you're gonna have to COME SEE OUR SHOW to find out.) I was afraid during one or two songs when the audience was dead silent, but the applause that followed showed that we just had them in the palm of Kow's collective hand.
So, yeah, we had a good crowd that enjoyed us to start off our Fringe 2006 experience. Now we just have to remember that 45 minutes is NOT that much time to throw as many songs in there as we wanted to. (We had to cut two songs from the set list while onstage, so people missed the awesomeness that is SuperMariopella. Lesson for the next show!)
During this week's rehearsal on Monday, the phone rang, and I answered it in the middle of us going over a song. It was my friend Shelley, who lives here in town, but who I know from MJ through First Baptist. She asked when our show was on Friday, and I told her. She said, "Great. We'll be there. (Kow singing too loudly for me to hear the phone)'s in town, so we'll come to see you."
Me: "Cool. See you then."
Keep in mind that I didn't actually know who was coming along with Shelley. I thought it would be her sisters, perhaps. So it was a shock when Tanya J. came by after the show. I haven't seen her in a good five, maybe six years, since my trips back home since I started living in Edmonton permanently have consisted of MAYBE a weekend max for family stuff like weddings or deathwatches. But so for Tanya to see Kow was an awesome surprise for me, because, hell, if she could have seen any show we'd done, a good opener's a good one to see. (Just like at my brother Brade's wedding, where a good half of my extended family hasn't seen Kow perform, like, for instance, my brother himself. Also, the family he married into were first time Kowboys and Kowgirls. (That's right. I'm naming our fans that now. Just try to stop me.))
Also, while some banter needed work, I was a huge fan of Dev's and my exchange after one hugely awesome version of At Last (Whoops. I just revealed a new song. Dammit!):
Me: Wow. That was just so SEXY.
Dev: It's a good thing I'm on this side of the stage, then.
Me: Dude, I would totally go through three guys for that. (Laughter from the crowd.) Wait, that came out TOTALLY wrong. (Louder laughter from the crowd.)
So, there's our first day. Hope all of our concerts over the next week are as successful. And if I haven't seen you there, I damn well better before the 28th hits!
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