Celebrity encounters, hot tennis chicks, and McDonalds chess...

Spent an enjoyable evening last night with Nova and D!, watching Mystery Science Theatre DVDs. And went to bed too late, so I had a fun morning.

* * *

I was selling a customer a new receiver for his StarChoice satellite this afternoon. The guy, I'm thinking, was not quite all there. He and his roommate were, well, slow. So I internally laughed my ass off at the following exchange.

I'm looking down at something on the counter, helping him out.

ROOMMATE: You know,you look like that famous person.

ME: (vaguely paying attention, thinking "Here we go. Another Brendan Fraser lookalike...") Yeah?

RM: Yeah. You've got the same chin. And those big lips.

(I look up, with a mock glare)

CUSTOMER: Yeah. I see it. From that movie.

RM: I can't remember his name. But he's got the blonde girl at his side.

C: Do you have a blonde girl at your side?

ME: No, not really.

C: That's a shame. So tell me, if you look like this movie star, why aren't you in Hollywood?

ME: Dunno. I guess he got there first.

C: (laughs) Yeah. That's it.

RM: That's the movie! Maryanna Jones!

C: Yeah! That's the one.

ME: (in my head) What? I look like Maryanna Jones, sorry, Harrison Ford? That's a new one...

C: Yup. All you need is the blonde at your side.

RM: Yeah, you've got to get rid of the two redheads you've probably got at home.

I start laughing.

ME: Yeah, that's it. I'll just trade the two redheads in for a newer model of blonde.

I find this funny, because I tend to go after blondes the least. Brunettes/dark-haired women are definitely first, followed by redheads, and then blondes. 'Course, there ARE exceptions...

They leave, thanking me for the receiver. And I chuckle. Maryanna Jones. That's a good one...

* * *

Jeff called to Martin, my co-worker, by yelling "Hey, Martina Hingis!" I guess he just wanted to see if Martin would respond, which he did.

But not before I said, "You know, if Martin WAS Martina Hingis, it would be a lot harded to get any work done around here. I'd be lusting after him constantly."

Martina Hingis, is my opinion the most attractive tennis athlete ever! You can tell every guy who goes for the blonde buxom Russian lust-bunny that she couldn't hold a candle to the lovely Martina.

Martin goes for Jennifer Capriati, and I suppose he's got a point. But for me? Miss Hingis all the way...

God, I'm such a geek...

* * *

After work, I went to the Kingsway McDonalds, since I didn't have a chance to take a lunch break today. ($1600 personal sales...)

While reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, I noticed a whole bunch of older men at three tables, playing chess. I've never seen that before, but then, I'm rarely at the Kingsway McDonalds on Sunday evenings.

So I took a break from reading, just to watch. Some guys were speaking loudly, in another language every time they moved. Some were just playing silently.

It was cool, just discovering this group of older gentlemen playing chess. I wondered, just what do the workers think of them? Are they annoyances? Are they tolerable, as long as they buy something? I should have asked, but my bus was across the street, so I had to just leave it.

Maybe I'll go back next week or something...

Questions and answers.

Now's the time where I, Jago, open up the mailbox to answer the letters that, YOU (the reading public) has asked:

Hey, Jago! What's been happening in your life recently?

Well, today, I spent a great afternoon with girlone when we went to see Boygroove (finally!). Great performances by Matt and Andrew Bursey. Such a funny play.

Yesterday, I went to a Survivor Improv meeting at our new space. After some business, we played some freeform improv games. And found out that, boy! Are we rusty! Whoa!

Despite that, we had a gem of a sketch where I played this guy who was being completely overcharged for everything he bought. Fun stuff. But still, a rusty night. Can't wait to the improv workshops to start up...

Did you get that Journal job you applied for?

No word as of yet. I'm hoping it will come to an interview at some point.

But I did win a membership to a health club for two! I still have to call about that...

What exactly IS The Story of My Magnetic Nametag, The Store's Back Room, and Undressing to Find It?

On my first day back to work this week, I found out that we had some new magnetic nametags. These would stop us from poking holes in our dress shirts (a problem I managed to avoid about a year into my tenure at RadioShack when I got a chain to put my nametag onto.).

I go into the back room and take the magnetic back between my index and pointer fingers and go between me and my shirt.

Of course, the back drops down into my pants. I shrug, and undo my belt to fish the magnet out of my pants.

Of course, this is where Jeff comes into the room, with my pants at my thighs.

I look at him, and simply say, "My nametag...dropped...into my pants. So I had to...you know, take them off."

He just says, "Sure, Jago. Sure." And laughs.

End of story. The title was a bit longer than the story turned out to be. Sorry.

Hey, Jago! What's up? What happened to your journal? Are you okay?

Sigh. Justice, you of all people should know well enough to bookmark my MAIN page, not one of my diary pages. You've linked to a past page, and so don't get my updates past that point.

Granted, how do I know that you're here, and not at that page? I emailed you about this!

Why don't you call home? You're not a hermit.

Mom! We just SAW each other on Sunday! You know all the things that have happened recently!

Are we REALLY letters that have been sent to you? Or is this just a literary device?

You got me. I'm making these questions up, other than Justice's and my mom's frequent requests that I keep in touch.

I got it from Dave Eggers and the book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I am reading again after getting it back from girlone.

And, hey, it works. Shut up.

So why are you keeping on with the questions, then?

If you weren't some voice in my head, you'd be dead by now.

Since we've been reading so much of your Fringe adventures, were there any plays you missed?

Many. Didn't see The Tunnels of Little Chicago, didn't see Glengarry Glen Ross, or Gallows Humour, Paranormal, or The Test. Still, I saw some good stuff, and made some new friends while I was at it. And I didn't see much Hoja. Although I did call them out.

You heard me, Hoja! Bring on the noise! Bring on the funk!

Where are you in Zelda these days

Wind Temple. Just got the Hookshot. Kickass!

Where are you in Extreme Warfare Revenge 4.0 these days?

Just started. I'm thinking I'll go with the Heartland Valley Wrestling promotion again, even though I'm SO not finished with 3.0's game just yet.

Maybe I should be another organization, just to be different.

Why do some people in your journal have nicknames, and some don't? What's your criteria?

Well, I started out with using straight names for my journal, until my friend Sarah asked me to not refer to her by her last name, like I did.

"So, what do you want to be called?"

"Anything. Just don't use my full name."

At which point, girlone asked if I could be discreet with her identity as well. I came up with girlone as a joke, commenting on the fact that everyone in my diary has to be anonymous.

Some, I get from screen names my friends put on Messenger (D!, Marauder). Some have evolved from jokes (MFJ), some I've actually been inspired with (Kit, Caboodle). Sometimes I'm just plain tired and give them stupid names (Canton). And some have such good names, I just use their actual names (Justice, Dev, Gary Coleman).

So, while not everyone has a nickname, not everyone needs one. And it works for me.

Besides, it's not like I have many readers from outside my friendbase anyways. Most everyone who reads this knows who I'm talking about. And I'll usually be open enough to describe background for anyone who cares.

Why does this journal exist, anyways?

To write, mainly. So I can keep in shape mentally.

Also, it's a very good way to vent. If I need to write, I'll write. If I'm close to my computer and I feel the urge, there it is.

And I'm an attention whore. Nothing says "Look at me! Aren't I special?" like an online journal.

As a side note, I seem to have inspired some other people to write just by showing them this site. girlone, Nova, Marauder: They've all said, "That's cool. How can I get one?" And now they all have journals...

So...Anything else?

Notihng I can really think of. I'm kicking myself for not recording the dream I have this morning. When I woke up at the GLORIOUS hour of 11:30, I was going to write about it. But I had to get ready for the afternoon with girlone.

I'm pissed off that some of my favourite online comic journals haven't been updating for weeks. Hey, buckos! You're drawing for MY benefit! Get to it!!!

Otherwise? Business as usual. If anything of note happens, I'm sure you all will hear about it eventually.

Going back to work, my cousin's wedding, and self-seclusion due to video games...

Another day of leaving the store at 10:30 pm. Why the hell am I still at this company?

Tomorrow, I hand in my resumes to the Journal, for those copy editing and reporting positions. Sure, they're only one year internships, but it would be fun to go for such a drastic change.

Going into my field of study. Who would've thought???

* * *

Ever have those times where you come back from a week of vacation, and wish you have a month to recover from that week?

The store yesterday was completely CRAZY! I ended up selling a DVD home burner and a laptop, both on the RadioShack cards, and got a 5 year warranty on the laptop. Final total for me? $2600, and $40 in SPIFFS (selling bonuses). The store demolished the daily sales goal, raking in $11,000 ($6666 more than last year). Yeah, the store was a bit busy...

Coworkers were complimenting my new haircut (I got it cut right before Fringe, with a six-month interval since my last cut. I was very shaggy beforehand...) and those that went to the Fringe complimented my Kow performance... My stockperson's husband, who had been busking at the Fringe, asked me "So, what are you doing working here? You guys could really work the Fringe circuit."

He thinks we could take off four months, and go from one side of the country to the other at theatre festivals across Canada. It'd be fun, but I'm not sure if we think we're able. Besides, it's hard to get that much time off work, especially for guys like Astro and Canton. Still, fun idea.

Maybe, if you (my reading audience) ARE good (How the hell does one conjugate that sentence? EDIT: Kit and I spent HOURS (well, minutes spanning hours) debating this...So this sentence SHOULD now be grammatically correct...), I'll tell you The Story of My Magnetic Nametag, The Store's Back Room, and Undressing to Find It some day where I don't have to worry about going to bed to get to work early tomorrow, as well as also dropping off my application, and doing the store's deposit.

* * *

Dev and MFJ go to Vancouver tomorrow for REM, Wilco and Radiohead. And I feel envious yet again. Why can't I go on trips? Sigh.

Well, the next big trip I've got coming is my cousin's November wedding in Jasper. And, of course, I have the option to bring a date.

Right now, it's not an issue, since Braden and I are both bachelors. (EJ, is bringing her boyfriend, Kyle.) But there's two months before it happens. Who knows what could happen in the time frame?

All I know is that it would be logistically awkward to bring one of my female friends along. Despite the obvious questions about our relationship ("No, so-and-so and I are just friends..."), there's the whole, "Hey, so-and-so! Wanna come to Jasper for my cousin's wedding? No strings attached!" question.

Sure, I could bring a friend no problems if they held the wedding in town here, but the thought of a hotel room in Jasper's a pretty big commitment in my POV. Would they sleep with EJ? Would we get our own room?

Mom's completely at ease with my sharing a bed with someone. (Well, not at ease...She'd cope, I guess... "What can I do? You're 26.") But she just wants me to do things the normal way. (So, having a child out of wedlock? Not so good...) But it's been one of my big hang-ups, thinking of my family having any knowledge of my sex life (or, in my case, lack thereof...).

Eh, well, MFJ said she'd go, if I needed to bring someone. Wouldn't THAT start rumours flying, both in my family and in my friendbase?

* * *

I'm not sure what will be my obsession for the next little bit: Zelda on the GameCube, or Extreme Warfare 4.0, the newest wrestling business simulator on my computer.

If you see me not answering my phone or mail for a while, you'll have a clue as to why I've gone into seclusion...

Fringe Journal, Part IV (final entry)

On Friday, Dev and I went to see Checkpoint Charlie, a very well done play featuring some improv friends of ours.

Steve Weller wrote and starred in a show set in Berlin during a forty-years span for the Berlin Wall and all the politics between Russia and America. Sharp writing, good acting and not much in the way of directing (in a good way) all contributed to this being probably the best show I had seen at Fringe. Dev and I were gushing to Steve afterwards about how much we enjoyed it.

No performances for Kow that day, and I was hoping to hang out with the Scorpio crew. I was invited along for their evening out on the town, but, unfortunately, I realized that the only way we could contact each other was to hang out on the Fringe grounds. They didn't know where I lived, we didn't exchange phone numbers (only e-mail), and so it didn't go anywhere.

Did have a nice time at the Transatlantia party, mind you. So the evening was by no means a waste.

Saturday, my parents had come up to see the show. We went shopping, which is something I'll elaborate on later.

So we did a fun set, and for some reason, my mic was SUPER live! I could hear only myself out of the monitors, even when I held the mic six inches from my mouth. So, it had a good blend.

My parents and my aunt enjoyed the show, so that was cool.

Today (Sunday) was the last day of the Fringe. Girlone and I stood in line before the Kow show to get tickets for BoyGroove. Of course, the venue was sold out about three people before us. So, no show for this. BUT! There are going to be other performances of BoyGroove this week, so we will eventually see it...

Our last show. First of all, we thought we were on the big stage, but we weren't. And we had told all our friends to go to the other stage. And my parents. So it was a bit confusing. We decided to go all out, and perform 15 songs.

There was a very attractive brunette in the third row wearing a bikini top. So I always had a default person to sing to if need be. And then she left halfway through. I wasn't the only member of Kow sad to see her leave...

It was nice to see the Scorpio actors there for the last part of the performance as well. It's great that we were able to meet a bunch of new friends, something that RARELY happens during Fringe. Usually, it's just me hanging out with my acting friends. But this was very cool.

So, final total for money grossed by Kow at the Fringe? Drum roll, please...

Just over $2500. I think it came to $2504.14, or something. So, a very successful Fringe by Kow. We'll have to do it again.

Dev was amazed at all Kow has accomplished over the past year. Two benefits completely organized by us, and a huge Fringe undertaking. Our profile has definitely gone up over the last year.

Still, I'm looking forward to a week of not singing...

We decided to go to Dunn's Delicatessen for some huge reuben sandwiches, and then all went to see the final show of The Curse of the Jade Monkey. And got to say goodbye to the Scorpio crew, and decline their invite to the Olive Garden. I had a pay-per-view to watch, and had already eaten out twice today.

Very long, but rewarding week...

* * *

Now, the parents stuff. Every time they come up, they tend to help me flesh out my palce a bit. This time, they had brought up a HUGE microwave to replace my smaller one, and a kitchen table and chairs from Grandpa's cabin at the lake. The table and chairs are circa 1950. It's got that kind of retro-looking pattern with the six-point stars and the like...

We then went shopping for cleaning supplies and cookware, so I wasn't without such handy things as glass baking pans and cake pans and the like.

Dad told me that they had decided to buy me a computer desk. I didn't mind this development, and was further pleased when he added, "And a TV set."

So I got myself a 20" flatscreen Samsung. With a few inputs, so I can steal back my GameCube from MFJ. (NEEDS my Zelda fix. NEEDS IT!) And component video inputs, so I can use my DVD player again, and ignore my computer's player. Funny thing is, I'm currently using a 19" flatscreen monitor, so my TV's not much bigger at all. Still, for $270? A very good deal.

And Dad and I were putting together the computer desk in my living room, when I heard running water coming from the kitchen.

Me: "Mom, what are you doing? DON'T do my dishes, Mom!"

Mom: "What else am I supposed to do? I can't help you guys."

Me: "Mom, please! It's not your problem that all my dishes are in the sink! That's my problem! Sit! Read a book! Do something!"

I had to run to rehearse before our concert that night, and when Dev and I came back at 10 pm, I find the kitchen immaculate, as well as the bathroom. Sigh. I love my mom, but she shouldn't have to clean my messes these days.

I couldn't find where she hid my dishes, though...

Fringe Journal, Part III

For some reason, I've been stuck on this first line for half an hour, trying to figure out if there's something I'm missing. So, if I remember, I'll be throwing it in later on...

Had a show yesterday at 5:30. It went well, because we're getting to the point where we're not afraid to speak up if something's wrong with the mic balance.

I had seen the Scorpio guys in the audience (or at least a few of them), and so I made sure to plug their show, in my ranting section of Spider-Man.

"If you want to see a good show, we've got some friends from the Curse of the Jade Monkey in the audience. It's a show that really kicks ass!"

I look to the right, and all the rest of Kow just looking at me aghast. I didn't realize until later it's because I said "ass" in front of a few six-year-olds sitting right at the edge of the stage.

Yes, I casually curse. I say "hell" and "ass" at the drop of a hat. And I even do it in front of children. Hell, it was my ambition to get Caboodle to say "bastard" as her first word. (Apparently, Kit just adds the words "Jago, you" beforehand, so that it can become baby's first phrase. Like I don't get my name cursed by enough people already, I need toddlers to do it?)

Side note: Dev and I have thought up a name for a kick-ass punk group: Civic-Minded Toddlers. It goes great in my list of other names for bands, like Byron Funk an old English teacher of mine...

In any case, decent show. Afterwards, I was able to hang out with MFJ, get some dinner, watch some Red Dwarf and Spinal Tap.

Dev, MFJ and I then went to see The Edmonton Sketch Conspiracy.

We had a fun time, despite the horrible reviews they've been getting. Granted, this might be because we're such good friends with the members of the ESC, and because we have very similar senses of humour.

In any case, they started off with Dev's favourite sketch, Morrissey, which involves D! singing non-sensical stuff like "Okay, I'll be your Squirrel King!" over top of well-known songs. D! really hates Morrissey.

Some good sketches, some I didn't quite understand. I loved Les Bucherons, a send-up of the old Quebec folk tales about Quebeckers that get challenged by the Devil, only to usually overcome the odds.

One thing I'd fix is Burke's delivery on Big Game Hunter, where he seems to rush through the monologue so you can't hear all the jokes. And Edmonton Playwright seemed to be off for some reason.

And THEN Dev and I got free comics! Whooo! Yay for Warp Two Comics and Edmonton Playwright! Madman kicks ass!

This morning, I was wakened by Canton calling me to ask "Want to see a play for free? It starts in half an hour." So I rush into the shower and boot for the venue. Or what I thought was the venue. Happened to be a completely different venue, but, fortunately, the play didn't start until 12:30, not noon like we thought.

So, we got to see The Power of Ignorance, a brilliant one-man show staged like a self-help seminar. I really recommend anyone who likes comedy to see this, since it's SO well done.

You find out over the course of this play the horrible childhood the character has lived through, but it's such a well-written monologue, it comes off as just part of the character's motivation. And he's SO ignorant, it makes so some very funny interplay between the actor and audience.

Plus, he knocks himself out for about fifteen minutes at the end of the play, but he's got a tape that comes on in case of emergencies like this. We were waiting for the actor to come up to tell him how much we loved the play, but he acted unconscious until some tech dragged him offstage, with the recorded track saying "Please, do NOT touch Vaguen. Thank you for coming, please leave the theatre."

Brilliant stuff.

Hanging in the beer gardens, I read some review in the papers. For some reason, ESC and Jade Monkey got bad reviews. (Stupid reviewers...)

In the ESC's case, there was actually a line that said, "Imagine if you were watching the worst episode of Saturday Night Live. Now multiply that by 100." Ouch.

So up comes the girls from Jade Monkey, and I start trying to console them about their one-and-a-half star review in Vue. In the review, the author pretty much says that a saving grace was Anna's looks. THAT made Anna feel SO much better. {/sarcasm}

Went to a barbeque, played with Lllloyd's infant, and drove home for the next Kow performance.

For some reason, the sound was having issues, but we persevered, and put on a very good show, in my opinion. And the guys agreed, for the most part. Sure, there was the occasional tuning issue on some songs, since we had no monitor volume whatsoever, but our energy made up for it.

Highlights:

Caboodle walking across the plaza during Little Red Riding Hood. So I decided to follow after her, dragging the mic along for the ride, singing to the toddler the entire time.

During Sixty Minute Man, the Jade Monkey crew had asked me prior if they could come and worship at Canton during the song. I said, "Sure. That'll be fun," And made sure to tell everyone EXCEPT for Canton. Priceless.

Me chanting lyrics from Red Hot Chili Peppers during the Spider-Man vamp. I look over to the rest, and ask "What? Doesn't everyone love the Chili Peppers?" before going back into the song.

During Basket Case, the group's singing Canon in D while Dev decided to "be sneaky" and tiptoe up to the mic to start singing the Green Day portion. Astro and I exchanged confused looks, and started hissing, "Dev! What are you doing?" while not interrupting the song itself. So it became this tug of war between the classical Pachebel parts and the Green Day parts that really worked.

So, to sum up, while it wasn't the greatest of balance, we were completely on performance-wise. The banter was there, it was quick, and it wasn't that rehearsed. And the improv bits looked polished. By jove, I'm thinking we're getting there...

It was good to see my aunt, uncle and cousin in the audience. They seemed to enjoy the set a lot. Saturday, my parents see me for the first time in a long time, performance-wise. I'm pretty sure Dad has never seen Kow live. And Mom's seen us back our first year, where we were reading all music sheets and just really rough, stagewise...

A few small questions (and sorry about the morbidity...)

I thought up some questions to answer on this site, just for fun:

I was reading the weathergeek's journal, and he was talking about how he'd want his obituary to read.

I had no clue what mine would read, other than it happening not too far into my life. And I'd be a successful writer/humourist. And I'd die in some awkward way.

I remember reading about an Israeli soldier who die when he got caught in a pizza dough maker in Jerusalem and was kneaded to death. And I remember it being a cool, but painful way to die.

And then I thought I could die post-coitus in a bed, but that might be too traumatizing for that lover, so that's out as well.

In any case, a flashy death would be cool. But it was the post-death plans that intrigued me: How would I like to go out afterwards?

Cremation. Most definitely. No worrying about a coffin or a corpse. Just a bunch of ashes, to be spread around. After I left high school, I figured I'd want some of my ashes to go into the stage at Peacock Collegiate. These days, I'd like some to be spread out in Edmonton somewhere. And if I ever became a writer, be it at a paper or wherever, I'd like some ashes to be mixed into the printing press, so I could live on in words.

Another question for my readers: Which celebrity do you get most compared to (either in personality or in appearance)?

For me, it's always Brendan Fraser. Always.

Not sure if it's the jawline, or the goofiness that both of us project, or what. But I've been compared to him more than enough times, most recently last night by Oksana, a new friend I met (yes, from Jade Monkey...).

I just want to know if it's the cool Brendan Fraser from the Mummy series and Encino Man, or if it's the nebbish dolt Brendan Fraser from Bedazzled and Dudley Do-Right...

Fringe Journal, Part II

Didn't have any performances today. Got to sit back and relax, play some Neverwinter Nights, and watch some plays.

Canton and I decided to take up the offer of our new Calgary friends to see The Course of True Love and the Curse of the Jade Monkey.

Fun little show (if you want to call two hours little) about a guy who works at a newspaper with a graphic design job with no excitement in his life, until he crosses paths with a mysterious girl who sends him a jade monkey. They fall in love, and he decides to leave his boring life for some excitement, getting caught up in the girl's treasure hunting.

Some pretty funny moments and a good script, even if it was a bit ambitious for a small venue. So many scene changes, some scenes ended up in the two minute range. Other than that, a show I'd definitely recommend for some fun acting performances, well-written characters and a good comic romp.

Afterwards, we hung out with the cast (not just Anna and Faith, but pretty much everyone who WASN'T driving back to Calgary for work the next day...). Found a hometown girl from Saskatchewan, Oksana from Coronach, so we started telling horrible Regina stories and the like.

Together, the (about) ten of us went to see DieNasty again, and were in line just talking until the show started. It started to rain, and Oksana had nothing to keep her warm, so I ran home for a jacket for myself and a sweatshirt for her. Yes, I can be gallant, although I just usually play the part of Goofus.

And before you think there was some ulterior motive for me giving a pretty girl something to keep dry with, she's married. Otherwise, you'd be completely right...

So we saw another uneven episode of DieNasty. Good points: Donovan Workun wrestling Cathleen Rootseart (complete with piledriver) and the creepiest Nathan Fillion (Yes, girlone: Caleb from Buffy...) performances I've ever seen... (Him eating the eyeball of another cast member, him seducing a barmaid under the influence of The Dancing Man, him breaking up with Julia Roberts in the Army and Navy Special K aisle...)

So Canton and I were able to get email addresses for the Calgary crowd and managed to get them to come for another of Kow's performances. They loved us the first time, and were asking when we'd get down to Calgary. And I need my sweatshirt back as well...

* * *

I need a bear-shark.

* * *

In the "God, I can be stupid" file:

I found out while on the computer that for some reason, I wasn't able to do anything. Any window I clicked on wouldn't come up. I'm thinking, "Jeez, my computer's frozen up. I hope it's not the new worm that everyone's getting. Because I've got seventy-two different firewalls running simultaneously."

I reboot the computer. No dice, still not working. I get a bit freaked out, because I don't want to lose my computer to a few weeks. (RS extended warranties are taken down to Calgary).

Then I find out somehow, it's just my mouse. My left button is broken. So I'm currently using the left-handed mouse option, where the right button is the main one.

Afterwards, I realize that's one task that I'm not left-handed in: using a mouse. So convenient to use my left hand on the keyboard, I guess. And I've been manipulated by the right-hand world in this respect, from the time I was about ten.

I guess this also explains why I can't use MS Paint or any computer drawing program to save my life, though. I can't draw right-handed.